


Piss Off Your Parents (Date Me To Scare Them)

by TheNameIsBritney



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Alex Mercer's Parents Are Homophobic (Julie and The Phantoms), Alternate Universe - College/University, Christmas, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, alex is the middle child because i said so, fake dating for christmas, unfortunately there is more than one bed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:55:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 36,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28244271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNameIsBritney/pseuds/TheNameIsBritney
Summary: Alex Mercer doesn't want to go home for Christmas; but if he has to, he's certainly gonna raise a little hell. Enter: Willie, the cute guy in his history of English class who would be the perfect fake boyfriend candidate.So if you wanna piss off your parents, date me to scare them, show them you're all grown up. If long hair and tattoos are what attract you, baby then you're in luck.
Relationships: Alex Mercer/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Julie Molina/Luke Patterson
Comments: 483
Kudos: 1060





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> title and summary snippet from the song 18 by anarbor! enjoy the fic xx

"Shit."

The word left Alex's mouth before he'd even realised. From the corner of his eye, he saw his project partner look up from his textbook to stare at him inquisitively. 

"You alright, man?" Willie asked. His gentle gaze made Alex's cheeks flush.

When Dr. Martin had paired Alex and Willie together for their etymology project, part of him couldn't believe his luck. The other part of him had instantly been filled with dread. 

Whenever Alex was around Willie, he always seemed to find a way to endlessly embarrass himself. The first day they'd met, Alex had somehow managed to spill tea all over his crotch. _Then_ , another day, Willie had asked for a pen. Not only had Alex accidentally emptied his entire backpack onto the floor somehow, but he'd also bumped his head on the desk after picking up all of his things. 

Willie had always been extremely nice, though, despite Alex's clumsiness, but Alex could only imagine what prolonged exposure to Willie would do to him. So far, there hadn't been any huge mishaps... but then again, they'd only been at the library for 15 minutes.

"Um..." Alex rubbed the back of his neck as he stared down at his phone screen. "It's nothing."

Willie furrowed his eyebrows, looking toward Alex's screen. "You sure?" he asked. "People don't usually swear at their phones for no reason."

Alex sighed, turning his phone over and over in his hands. He glanced at Willie who was looking at him with those entrancing, soft brown eyes. "I... okay, um... basically, my parents are expecting me to come home for Christmas." he said, brushing back his hair. Willie hummed quietly. 

"Where's home for you?"

"Sacramento," Alex replied, fiddling with the ring around his finger.

Willie was still staring at him curiously, a smile on his face that Alex trusted intrinsically. "That's a pretty far drive," Willie said, gently nudging Alex's knee with his own. "Do you not... want to go home for Christmas?" 

If Alex weren't feeling so distressed, he would've noticed the sudden warmth against his knee... but unfortunately, his mind just so happened to be elsewhere.

"I don't _not_ wanna go. I mean, it'll be nice to see my brothers again. It's just..." Alex sighed and rubbed his forehead. "They texted me and told me there's this girl from church that they want me to meet."

Willie smirked. "Meet like _meet_ or meet like..." He held up his left hand and wiggled his ring finger mockingly, wiggling his eyebrows as he did so. Alex couldn't help but chuckle. 

"The second one. Even though they both _know_ that--"

"--You already have a girlfriend?"

Alex paused, slipping his ring off his finger and twisting it around slowly. "Actually, I was gonna say 'even though they both know I don't like girls'." 

"Oh!" Willie replied, his eyebrows raised just a touch. Alex noticed the way the corner of his lips perked up just a touch, too. "Mm... that's really rough. I'm sorry."

Alex knew Willie was probably just being polite, but his words felt... sincere; not like a hollow courtesy. He smiled and shrugged. "It is what it is, right?" he replied. "Plus, I've never actually had a boyfriend, so it's not like I could really _prove_ my gayness to them, or... whatever. Not that it needs proving, but..." Alex deflated, tapping his foot in a random, non-sensical beat. "Part of me wishes I had something to rub in their faces when they're being deliberately obtuse, you know?"

Willie hummed, an unreadable smile on his face. "Yeah," he said quietly, "I get it."

Alex smiled, letting out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "Sorry for oversharing."

"It's cool, man," Willie said, bumping their shoulders together. "That's what friends are for, right?"

_Friends?_

Alex knew it was silly to get so excited about a rudimentary title, but... it felt good to mentally upgrade Willie from 'cute guy in my history of English class' to 'friend'. 

"Yeah. Right." Alex looked down at his book in a feeble attempt to hide his growing smile. "I guess we should probably get back to work, huh?" He looked up, only to find Willie looking at him strangely. Alex didn't know how to read the smile on his face. "What?"

Willie simply shook his head, folding over one of the corners in his textbook. "Nothing," he said, pushing the book towards Alex. Willie looked away then; Alex found himself missing his gaze. "I found the Indo-European root for our word, right here."

Alex mouthed a silent 'oh' and took the book, Willie's unknowable smile now firmly imprinted into the forefront of his brain.

* * *

Alex sighed and rested his head back against Luke's shin from where he was sitting on the floor, staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars they'd stuck to the ceiling the night he, Luke, Reggie, and Bobby had moved in together. 

As soon as the four of them had graduated high school, they'd all moved to Los Angeles in hopes of catching their 'big breaks'. So far, six months into their move, they'd only been able to book small gigs, but... they were so close to making it big, Alex could practically _feel_ it.

They were all hanging out in the living room with Julie, Luke's coworker-turned-friend-turned-s _omething else._ They'd met when Luke applied for a job at a local music store and had instantly hit it off. At least, that had been the version of the story Luke had told them. 

"How long are you gonna be home for?" Bobby asked, kicking his feet up onto the coffee table.

"From the 24th to the 26th," Alex said, hugging his knees to his chest. "I told them I had to work the rest of the break."

"But you don't have a job," Reggie supplied unhelpfully. Alex just stared at him for a moment until realisation flooded his features. "Ohh... right."

"Just don't go," Luke said, nudging Alex's butt with his foot. "Spend Christmas with us."

Alex groaned and ran his fingers through his hair. "I can't not go, Luke, it's... you know what my folks are like."

"That's why I think you shouldn't go." 

"Why don't you bring someone?" Julie asked. Alex pretended not to notice the way she leaned into Luke's shoulder _just_ the slightest bit. 

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Like a date?"

Julie shrugged. "Or a friend. It might make them lay off if you bring someone they think they need to impress," she said slowly. "You know... it's like how weirdly polite _all_ parents get around new people."

A mischievous smile that Alex immediately didn't trust began to grow on Luke's face. "You _could_ bring a date," he said. Alex didn't like the way his eyes were twinkling with mirth. 

He elected to ignore it, humming and looking down at Luke's vans instead as he began slowly untying them. "I guess I could ask Carrie," he mumbled. "She's rich, white, and a girl. They'd probably like her."

Bobby smirked and sat up. "I don't think Luke means a girl-date."

Alex paused, winding Luke's shoelace around his index finger. "You mean--"

"--A guy!" Luke said, bouncing enthusiastically. If he noticed Alex beginning to coil and tie his shoelaces together, he didn't say anything. "Think of it as a... Christmas _surprise_ for your parents."

Alex rolled his eyes. Luke had always been the hell-raiser among the four of them.

"Who do you suggest I bring then?" Alex asked, gesturing vaguely around their living room. "Aside from Julie, who's immediately disqualified for being a girl, my parents have met all three of you enough times to know that I'd never date any of you."

"Hey!" Reggie protested. "Words hurt..."

Alex chuckled as he watched Reggie petulantly cross his arms. "No offence, Reg, but you're just not my type."

"What about that barista from _Spoons_?" Bobby asked. "The one who's always hitting on you. I'm sure he'd do it."

"The barista from _Spoons_? You mean the ' _extra hot latte for my favourite extra hot customer'_ barista from _Spoons_?" Alex exclaimed, holding back the urge to vomit. "I'd rather make out with Sue-Ellen from church in front of my parents. Thanks though, Bee."

The five of them fell silent. Alex could feel an uncomfortable weight beginning to press against his chest the longer the silence sustained for. It was beginning to get hard to breathe. "I don't know why I'm even entertaining this! Why would I wanna piss my parents off on purpose?" he exclaimed, sitting up and resting his elbows against his knees. He was trying to level his breathing when he felt Luke's hand gently squeezing his shoulder.

"'Cause your parents are dicks," he said quietly. He pulled away from Alex's shoulder and slung an arm around Julie's shoulders in an attempt to look nonchalant. "It's just a little payback."

"You don't have to do it if you don't want to," Julie said. Luke begrudgingly nodded beside her. "It's up to you."

Alex sighed. For the first 15 years of his life, he'd tried so hard not to make any noise; tried to be the calm to combat against his brothers' crazy... he'd done everything right. But he hadn't, not really. When he came out, his parents praise had disappeared; it had been replaced with sharp words and sudden, deliberate losses of memory. 

Alex had tried so hard to be perfect for so long, and had nothing to show for it. Maybe it would feel _good_ to finally make a little noise.

He sighed and stood up, shoving his hands into his pockets. "You guys are sweet for caring, but I can find a fake boyfriend on my own." Alex walked into his room and shut the door. He could hear quiet talking and the sounds of shuffling in the living room before he heard a loud crash and Luke's distinct yell. 

"When did my shoelaces get tied together?!"

* * *

A week had gone by and Alex still hadn't managed to find a solution to his fake-date issue. He'd cycled through his entire repertoire of male friends, yet somehow not a single person was the right _fit._

Alex walked into the library and slumped into his usual study carrel, pulling out his laptop and his copy of _The Essays of Michel de Montaigne_ , hoping that Montaigne could somehow _feel_ his disdain from beyond the grave.

"Alex!"

Alex froze in place, the sound of a familiar voice soaking his ears. Okay, so maybe he _hadn't_ gone through his entire repertoire of eligible guys.

"Willie! Hey!" Alex said, giving Willie a bewildered smile. There was no doubt in his mind that he probably looked slightly manic, if not completely unhinged. Luckily, Willie didn't seem to notice.

"How are you? I haven't heard from you since we handed in our project and classes ended," Willie asked, resting a single (somehow _gorgeous)_ forearm on the partition connected to Alex's desk. 

Alex shrugged sheepishly. "Busy with finals, I guess," he said, giving Willie what he _hoped_ was a subtle glance over.

Of course, even during the middle of finals season, he still managed to look perfect. Meanwhile, Alex was on his seventh day of wearing the same hoodie and pants combination. He simply did _not_ have time to do laundry right now. 

"So, um... have you figured out your Christmas situation?" Willie asked, nibbling on the corner of his lip.

Alex raised his eyebrows, a small, disbelieving smile on his face. "You remembered?" When Willie nodded and returned his smile, for a moment, Alex forgot how to breathe. "Not really," he said, tapping his fingers against the wooden desk. "My roommates and I came up with a plan, but it's kind of... silly."

Willie wiggled his eyebrows cheekily. "I love silly," he said. "Hit me."

Alex tried to look for any hints of judgement on Willie's face. When he found none, he chuckled and ducked his head bashfully. "Um... okay, basically, I'm trying to find a fake boyfriend who'll come home to Sacramento with me and help me piss off my parents."

A few silent moments passed before Willie started to giggle quietly. Alex couldn't help but join him. There was nothing sharp or cruel about Willie's laughter either, it was just pure, unbridled joy. 

"That's... that's a plan alright," Willie said, a high chuckle still in his voice. "I'm guessing you haven't found Mr. Right yet?"

Alex shook his head. "There's only a week and a half 'til Christmas and all my friends are booked up." He adjusted his cap and smirked. "Can you believe I actually considered asking Dr. Martin?"

Willie fell silent then, a contemplative look on his face. Alex watched him carefully trace the scratches in the desk with his index finger.

"I mean... I don't have a PhD but I've been told that I'm a pretty great date," Willie said, biting down on his lower lip. 

All the air left Alex's lungs. He could feel the tips of his fingers beginning to tingle with anticipation. "Yeah?" he asked weakly.

Willie released his lip and shrugged. "Yeah."

"You got any tattoos?"

Willie paused before tugging up the sleeve of his t-shirt over his shoulder, revealing a simple line drawing of a ghost hovering over a skateboard. Alex's eyes traced the lines of the tattoo. The view of his bicep was also... appreciated.

"I have more, but they're in awkward places," Willie said. "I don't think we know each other well enough yet for me to show you those." Then, he winked, and Alex briefly thought he would never be the same afterwards. 

"My parents _hate_ tattoos," Alex said with an awkward laugh. He slipped his hoodie sleeves over his rapidly warming hands. "You got any Christmas plans?"

"Nope," Willie said, leaning his hip against Alex's desk. "My Uncle is performing on a cruise ship all December, so... I was just gonna hang at the skatepark and get take out."

Alex nodded slowly, his brain chewing through all the new information he was receiving. "Are you being serious?" he asked finally. "Because I'm kind of in a bind and you'd be really helping me out." 

"Serious as a heart attack," Willie replied with a blinding grin. He held his hand over his heart. "If you'll have me."

Before he could _really_ register what he was doing, Alex was nodding. "Yeah! Yeah, that would be... I think you'll do great." He hesitated before giving Willie a smaller, more genuine smile. "Thank you, Willie."

Willie shrugged and smiled, pulling his phone out of his pocket and sliding it towards Alex. "Gimme your number and we can get together sometime to... plan."

Alex nodded, wordlessly typing his number into Willie's phone before handing it back.

Willie looked down at his contact and smiled before slipping his phone back into his pocket. Alex wished more than _anything_ that he knew what that smile meant. "I'll see you around, Sunshine."

Alex watched as Willie walked off, his mouth dry and heart bounding in his chest. In just a week and a half, he would be spending three days at home with the guy he'd had a crush on all semester, pretending to date him for his homophobic parents.

What could possibly go wrong?


	2. Chapter 2

Alex nibbled on the edge of his thumb as his phone rang. His knee was bouncing up and down rapidly. The force of it was making his shoulders shake too, but he barely took notice.

"Hello? Alex?"

The familiar sound of his mother's overly-honeyed voice covered Alex in dread.

"Hi, Mom," he said, digging his nails into the arm of the couch. "How are you?"

His mother sighed. Alex could hear the faint sound of rushing water in the background. "I'm a little busy right now, Honey, I'm washing the dishes. Did you need something?" Her words were stern and short. A far cry from the gentle, soft woman who'd kissed his wounds and sung him to sleep when Alex had been seven.

"Yeah, I did, actually." Alex breathed in shakily, focusing on the sound of running water and the clinking of ceramic plates against metal. "It's about Christmas."

"If this about buying gifts for me and your father, don't bother," she said. "Harrison and Noah already got us cruise tickets."

Alex paused before rolling his eyes. "I know, Mom, those tickets were from all three of us," he said, rubbing his forehead. He could already feel a headache coming on. "DIdn't you read the card?"

"I guess I must've missed your name." Her voice was high and saccharinely sweet. Alex didn't trust it one bit.

"...Right, anyway, I just wanted to let you guys know I'm bringing a guest." As soon as the words left his mouth, he felt his heart practically stop in his chest.

His mother fell quiet. _God, even her silence felt cold and intimidating._ "Oh?" she said finally.

"Yep."

Before Alex could continue, the front door opened. His eyes widened when he saw Luke and Julie walk into the apartment together, chattering excitedly.

"Hey, Alex!" Julie said pleasantly, shucking her shoes off. Alex gave her a panicked wave before his mother continued speaking.

"Alex, who is that?" she asked. The sound of rushing water stopped suddenly. "Was that a girl? Is she who you're bringing?"

The hope in her voice made a hot, uncomfortable kind of anger grow deep in Alex's belly. He could see Luke and Julie hovering by the front door, concerned frowns on their faces. Alex sighed and rested his elbows on his knees, rubbing his temples. "No, Mom," he sighed. "That was Julie. Luke's girlfriend."

"Girlfriend?!" 

Alex ignored both Julie's and Luke's indignant, simultaneous cry. He couldn't even enjoy their embarrassment. 

"Oh." God, she sounded _so_ disappointed, it made Alex slightly nauseous. "Who are you bringing then?"

Alex sat back and brushed his bangs off of his face, locking eyes with Luke from across the living room. "I'm bringing my boyfriend." A smile started to grow on Alex's face at the sight of Luke's encouraging fist bump.

Silence. A sigh. Followed by _more_ silence. 

"Alex, are you sure that's... appropriate?" she asked after a moment. She was doing nothing to even attempt to hide her disdain. "You know how your father and I feel about--"

"--I gotta go, Mom, Luke just set the rug on fire," Alex interrupted quickly, "see you next week!" He hung up then, watching his mother's contact photo fade. After a few seconds, he let out a quiet laugh of disbelief. Part of him couldn't believe he'd just done that.

"Nice, bro!" Luke exclaimed, flopping onto the couch and offering his fist for a bump, which Alex gladly returned. Julie joined them, rolling her eyes playfully. "Hanging up before giving her a chance to say 'no'? Classic!"

"What did she say?" Julie asked, tucking her legs under her as she sat. 

Alex felt his phone vibrating in his hands, but he ignored it, placing it on the coffee table screen-down. "She asked if I thought it was 'appropriate,' because I know how they _feel_ ," he said, rolling his eyes. "Well, why should I care about how they feel if they don't care about how I feel?" 

He felt a hand gently squeeze his knee and Alex looked over. Julie had reached over Luke's lap and was smiling in a way that he couldn't help but feel comforted by.

"Thanks," he said quietly, clearing his throat. "I'm fine. Just... talking to my parents is..."

"We get it, Alex," Luke said, wrapping an arm around Alex's shoulders. "So, who'd you get to be your boyfriend?"

Alex felt his cheeks grow gently warm. " _Fake_ boyfriend. And um... just some guy from my English class," he mumbled. "His name's Willie."

Luke and Julie shared an undecipherable look. It made Alex squirm. 

"Willie, huh?" Julie hummed cheekily. "Is he cute?"

If he hadn't been blushing before, Alex definitely would've been now. "He-he... I... he's just..."

"I'll bet he's a total catch," Luke teased. 

Alex sputtered, trying to shove Luke's arm off of his shoulders. To his distress, that only made Luke hold on tighter. "H-he's just a friend!" he exclaimed, "you guys are being _so_ immature!"

"C'mon, you totally like this guy!" Luke said, a delighted laugh escaping him. "Aww... what's he look like?"

Alex managed to escape from Luke's grip and shook his head, a small, embarrassed smile growing on his face. "I'm locking myself in my room until the new year," he announced, steadfastly ignoring Luke and Julie's cackles.

* * *

Willie and Alex had agreed to meet at the campus coffee shop at noon to discuss their _plan_. Alex only hoped he wouldn't spill hot tea all over himself again - or, God forbid, all over Willie.

He walked into _Spoons_ and looked over at the counter. What he saw made him grimace. Of course _he_ was working; Ricky, the _Extra-Hot_ , sleazy barista.

Alex hesitated before joining the back of the line, keeping his head down and staring down at his phone. He could feel his heart rate steadily begin to rise the closer he got to the front of the line. The moment he locked eyes with Ricky, a sick feeling settled in the pit of Alex's stomach.

"Well, if it isn't my favourite customer," Ricky said, leaning forward on his elbows in an obvious attempt to look smooth. It wasn't working. "How are you?"

Alex sighed and pulled his wallet out of his back pocket. "I'm... fine," he said tersely. "How are you?"

Ricky smirked, though... his expression didn't _actually_ change very much. Alex supposed smirking was just Ricky's resting face. "Better now that you're here. Wanna know why?"

Alex shuffled uncomfortably. "Um... why?"

Ricky stepped away from the counter and pulled something green and leafy out of his apron pocket. "Y'know what this is?" he asked, waving it in front of Alex's face.

Alex paled. He _definitely_ knew what that was. "... No... I don't," he lied. "Can I just get a--"

"--It's mistletoe, Alex." Ricky held up the sprig of mistletoe until it was level with Alex's forehead. "Surely you know the tradition?"

"Um--"

"--Oh, sick, is that mistletoe?"

Before Alex could register what was happening, he felt an arm gently wrap itself around his waist and a pair of lips lightly brushing against his cheek. The touch was so light and quick that it was gone almost as soon as it came; but it still left Alex's cheek burning. 

He looked over at his saviour and found Willie standing there, an apologetic smile on his face. His eyes were happily crinkled.

"Sorry I'm late," Willie said, dropping his arm from Alex's waist. Alex missed the touch almost immediately. "I boarded into a bush while trying to avoid a dog."

Alex managed to huff out a chuckle. He reached up and plucked a dried leaf out of Willie's hair, his fingers tingling as they brushed up against a few soft strands. He hoped no one would notice how his hands were shaking. "I-I can see that."

Willie's smile grew just a tad before he turned to Ricky who was staring at them, shell-shocked. "Hi!" he said pleasantly, fishing his wallet out of his pocket. "Can I get a medium hot chocolate, please? Did you already order, Babe?"

 _Babe?_ Alex shook his head, clearing his dry throat. "Um... large earl grey tea, please," he said quietly. "Thanks, Ricky."

Ricky retracted the arm holding the mistletoe and quickly stuffed the sprig back into his apron pocket. "That'll be $8," he said, plugging their order into the computer with a tad more aggression than usual. Alex fought back a smirk when Ricky's voice cracked. "Anything else for you, sir?"

Willie shook his head and pulled a $10 bill out of his wallet, sliding it towards Ricky on the counter. "Keep the change," he said with a bright smile. He gently pulled Alex away from the counter and took him to the edge of the bar to wait for their drinks. 

Alex could feel how warm his cheeks were; he just hoped it wasn't too visible. "How much do I owe you?" he asked, opening his wallet. He stilled when Willie rested his hand on top of Alex's, pushing his wallet away. Willie's hands were coarse and rough, and Alex held his breath.

"It's on me, Sunshine, don't even worry about it." 

Willie dropped his hand and turned to watch the other barista make their drinks. When he looked away, Alex let himself smile and pocket his hand, trying to savour the warmth. 

They received their drinks and Alex led them to his favourite spot; the corner seat by the window with the cushiest armchairs Alex had ever sat in. "Thank you," he said, smiling sheepishly, "for... helping me." 

Willie smiled and shrugged. "No problem. It looked like you needed some help." He paused and took the lid off of his hot chocolate, licking a stray drop off of his thumb before looking at Alex. "I hope it was okay that I... kissed you. I wasn't really thinking and I just went for it."

The spot on Alex's cheek that Willie had kissed began to grow warm, yet again. "Oh! That? That was... totally fine! It-it was welcome, in fact, um..." Alex trailed off breathlessly. "You saved me from having to deal with Ricky, so..." he looked down at his hands for a moment before smiling at Willie. "I have a feeling I'm gonna end up owing you a _bunch_ of favours."

Willie giggled. "I'll call you when I've got a body I need to hide," he said playfully. He held Alex's gaze for what felt like a _second_ too long before sitting back in his seat. "So! Christmas with the Mercers. What do I need to know?"

Alex sighed. "Let's start with the positives, I guess," he said slowly. "I have two brothers, Harrison and Noah. Harrison is four years older than me, a doctor, _straight..._ basically, he's the golden boy." Alex rolled his eyes, but smiled despite himself. "I love him, but... older brothers, you know?"

Willie smirked as he sipped his drink. "Oh, I do," he said once he'd swallowed. "I'm actually the eldest of five." 

"Really?" The image of five Willies of varying sizes briefly crossed Alex's mind. He choked back a smile. 

Willie nodded. "I'll tell you about them another time," he said. "Keep going. What about your other brother? Noah?" Alex couldn't help but raise his eyebrows in surprise. He hadn't expected Willie to remember their names so quickly.

"Noah's still in high school. He's... basically a child prodigy; my parents _love_ to talk about how he learned to read when he was a year old." Alex wrinkled his nose. "He's more than just smart, though. I'd never say this to him, but he kind of kept me sane after Harrison graduated. He's great."

There was a gentle smile on Willie's face that Alex just wanted to _sink_ into. "They sound great," he said softly. "You must be excited to see them."

"I really am," Alex replied. "We bully each other all the time, but... sometimes I think I wouldn't have been able to survive my parents without them."

"What are your parents like?"

Alex pursed his lips and looked down at his cup, warmth seeping through the cardboard and into his hands. "Um... well, my mom used to be a math teacher, but she retired when Noah was born." He squeezed the cup just the slightest bit tighter. "My dad's an accountant."

Willie stayed quiet, his thumb gently rubbing the crook of his elbow. Alex took that as a sign to continue.

"They're... an acquired taste," Alex said. "They're pretty religious. When I came out, it didn't go great." He paused and inched the tip of his thumbnail underneath the cardboard sleeve around his cup. "They didn't kick me out or anything, but they made it very clear that they didn't approve.” A lump got caught in Alex's throat but he ignored it, taking a sip of his tea instead. The hot liquid burned going down, but Alex barely noticed. "They treated me differently... started hugging me less. They stopped doing the _loving_ part of parenting. They just did all the obligatory stuff."

"I'm sorry, Alex." 

Alex looked up at Willie. This was the first time he'd ever seen him _frown_. He decided he didn't like it, despite the fact that he still managed to look breathtakingly gorgeous while doing it. 

"No one deserves to be treated that way," Willie continued, his fist opening and closing a few times in his lap. 

Alex clenched his jaw and shrugged, though the action felt stiff and mechanical. "I've learned to just live with it, you know?" It's been better since I moved out, for sure."

The both of them didn't speak for a while, and for a moment, Alex wondered if maybe he'd said too much. Maybe Willie was beginning to regret agreeing to help him...

But then, he heard Willie say four words that somehow absolved most of his anxieties.

"So, what's the plan?"

Alex raised his eyebrows. "You still wanna help me?" he asked. "After everything I just told you?"

Willie shrugged. "If you still wanna do this, then... yes." Then, just like that, his smile was back and Alex felt some of the tension leave his shoulders. "How do you wanna do this? I'm pretty good at wreaking havoc when I need to."

"...When you need to?"

"It's better if you don't ask."

Alex laughed, unable to fight the surprised grin as it snuck onto his face. He looked at Willie who was sitting across from him, elbows on the table, patiently waiting for instruction. He couldn't _believe_ how lucky he'd gotten. "As much fun as wreaking havoc would be..." Alex begun, "I was thinking we could go in the opposite direction."

"Oh?" Willie asked, raising his eyebrows.

"I was thinking, maybe instead of giving my parents a reason to hate you, what if instead you were basically the perfect partner?" Alex asked, sitting forward in his seat. "Then they'd have no choice but to admit to themselves that the only reason _why_ they don't like you is... 'cause they're bigots."

A slow grin began to form on Willie's face the more Alex explained his plan. 

"I know I said I like to cause chaos, but I think you're the real evil mastermind," Willie said, voice light and high with surprise and... what Alex _thought_ might've been admiration. 

A burst of pride shot through him and he grinned, pulling his journal out of his satchel. 

"Let's get planning."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lots of exposition, lots of dialogue WOO! i hope y'all enjoyed that!! 
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE COMMENTS MY GOD!! i've seriousyl enjoyed reading every single one, each one is just an INSTANT serotonin boost so thank you all for that 🥺 if u wanna follow me on tumblr my url is @alexthedrummerboy!! i sometimes talk on there so y'all can see that if ur interested fdjklsl
> 
> happy holidays! i hope you're all warm (or cool for all my southern hemisphere friends) and safe and eating well! lemme know what u think by dropping a comment if ur so inclined! (those are my fave christmas presents)
> 
> \- Brit xx


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey for a moment, suspend ur disbelief and pretend that it's slightly colder in sacramento than it is in los angeles. okay thank u!!! <3
> 
> also: IDK HOW TO FUCKIGN DRIVE SO FJKDLSJFLS i'm sorry if this is completely inaccurate

The reality of spending five hours (at least, not counting holiday traffic) alone in a car with Willie didn't exactly hit Alex until 6:30am on the morning of Christmas eve. 

Truthfully, the drive had been the least of Alex's worries. He'd been too preoccupied coaching Willie and worrying about his parents to even _consider_ transit, but the minute he slung his duffle bag into the backseat of his car, the realization came crashing down on him. He was about to trap himself in a car with Willie for upwards of five hours, with no possible escape until they reached his parents house (which Alex wouldn't ever really consider... an escape). The very idea was enough to make Alex's heart race.

A sudden breeze blew past Alex and he shivered. It didn't get as cold in Los Angeles as he was used to, and when the summer heat had started to die down, Alex found himself kind of missing it... now, though, the sharp breeze felt all too foreboding; a reminder of what was to come.

He walked back into the house to wait for Willie. His hands were shaking, but he chalked that up to the surprisingly frigid weather. It had nothing to with his nerves whatsoever, _surely._ Alex let out a slow breath and sat down at their dinky dining table that tripled as both a desk _and_ a place to hold Reggie's keyboard. He pulled his phone out of his pocket in hopes of distracting himself.

"Mornin'."

Alex looked up and smiled when he saw Reggie walking down the hall. His hair was disheveled and his eyes were half shut from sleep. He looked so much like a sleepy puppy that Alex couldn't help but chuckle. 

"Morning, Reg," Alex said, following Reggie with his eyes as he walked to the chair opposite Alex and slumped down into it. "Why're you up so early?"

Reggie sniffed and rested his chin atop his folded forearms. "Nightmare," he mumbled, eyes slipping shut.

Alex winced. Reggie's nightmares always worsened around the holidays. He reached out and gently poked Reggie's forearm. "You wanna talk about it?" 

"Not really. Thanks though," he replied, opening his eyes as best he could and lifting his head. "Today's the big day, huh?"

Suddenly, all of Alex's nerves came rushing back in droves. "Yeah," he said, blowing out a quiet breath. "I'm a little nervous."

Reggie furrowed his eyebrows. "Hey, it'll be okay," he said. "It's just three days, right? And your brothers will be there. And Willie." Alex did _not_ entirely appreciate the salacious eyebrow wiggle Reggie gave him at the mention of Willie's name. "Plus, you know we would drive up to Sac to help you out anytime, in a heartbeat . You just have to ask."

Alex smiled. "None of you know how to drive," he countered. Reggie shrugged. 

"Love finds a way, man."

Before Alex could respond to Reggie's comment, the doorbell rang. He whipped around and stared at it for a moment, the sound ringing in his ears.

"Dude, are you gonna answer it?"

Reggie's voice pulled Alex from his own thoughts and he cleared his throat. He stood up on shaky knees and walked to the door, bracing his hand on the handle before pulling it open. 

Surely enough, Willie was standing on the other side of the door, the cracked helmet on his head covering his silky locks. He was holding a skateboard in his hand, a gym bag slung over his shoulder. His face was just the slightest bit flushed from the windchill. 

He looked... _amazing_. 

"Morning!" Willie said breathlessly, taking his helmet off and shaking out his hair. Alex was helpless to do anything but watch. 

"Um... morning," Alex replied, hoping his face wasn't as red as it felt. "How are you feeling?"

Willie shrugged. "I feel ready to show up some homophobes." He looked just over Alex's shoulder and raised his eyebrows. "Hi!"

Alex turned around and sighed. Reggie was still sat at the dining table, head in his hand, smiling dopily. "That's my roommate, Reggie," Alex explained softly. 

"And best friend _and_ bandmate!" Reggie chimed in jovially. "Nice to meet you! Alex talks about you _all_ the time." Alex whipped around. 

If looks could kill, Reggie would be six feet under by now. He looked back at Willie to explain himself, only to find him looking at Alex with a soft, questioning smile. 

"I didn't know you were in a band."

Alex smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, we're um... we're called Sunset Curve--"

"--tell your friends!"

Willie chuckled and rested against the doorjamb. "You really are full of surprises, huh?"

"I... I mean," Alex stammered, unable to keep himself from smiling. "I wouldn't say _that_." Willie was still smiling at him so tenderly, Alex briefly wondered what it was like to be so beautiful.

"You ready to go?" Willie asked. Alex was thankful for the change of subject. 

"Yep! My stuff is already in the car, so... you can just throw your stuff in with mine."

Alex unlocked the car door and waved goodbye to Reggie, shutting the door before Willie could see the wink Reggie flashed him. 

Willie threw his bag, skateboard, and helmet into Alex's backseat before closing the door and looking at him. His eyes drifted down to Alex's sternum and he raised his eyebrows. "That's new."

Alex looked down. "Oh!" he reached up and clutched at the gold cross hanging from his normally empty chain. "I... it's... my parents got it for me for my confirmation when I was like... twelve. I stopped wearing it when I moved out here. I didn't tell them I stopped wearing it, though." He paused, feeling the metal warm up gently in his hand. "If I show up without it, they'll make a fuss and I just don't have the energy for that."

They both piled into Alex's car and Alex began pulling out of the driveway. The silence was... comforting, for a reason Alex couldn't exactly place. 

Willie broke the silence after a few moments. "You mentioned that your folks are pretty religious," Willie said slowly, "are you?"

The question gave Alex pause. He must've been quiet for a moment too long. 

"I-I'm sorry," Willie said. "I didn't mean to overstep."

Alex turned to Willie briefly and shook his head. "No, no! You didn't... I just..." he tightened and loosened his grip on the steering wheel a few times as he pondered his answer. "It's a little complicated, I guess. Like... I don't really know if there's some guy in the sky watching over us, trying to figure out whether or not we're good people or not."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Willie shift and turn slightly so he was facing Alex front-on. His gaze felt... heavy.

"If there _is_ somewhere up there, I hardly think he's spending his time watching me and chastising me for... I don't know, having a crush on Brendon Urie when I was 14."

Willie chuckled. "Brendon Urie is pretty hot." The sound of Willie's quiet laugh lifted two tons of weight off of Alex's chest.

"I do think the concept of heaven is kind of nice, though," Alex continued. "I mean, I obviously don't know what happens after we... but heaven seems like a pretty sweet deal, you know?"

"Yeah. I get it." Willie's voice was soft, but there was no hiding the smile in it. 

Alex cleared his throat, desperate to pull the focus off of himself. "Do you um... wanna play some music?" he asked. "You can connect your phone to the speaker if you want."

"Yeah, sure."

A few seconds later, a familiar chord progression started playing and a smile grew on Alex's face automatically. "I love The Band CAMINO!" 

"Yeah?" Willie asked happily. "I saw them live last summer at Warped Tour!"

Alex raised his eyebrows and looked at Willie when the car rolled to a stop at a red light. "So did I." He caught Willie's eye and smiled, his fingers nervously drumming out a rhythm on his steering wheel. "We could've walked past each other without realising."

Willie nodded, a quiet, bubbly giggle escaping his throat. "Maybe we did."

The morning sun was beginning to filter gently through the car window, making Willie's dark brown eyes look even more captivating and enticing. Alex couldn't bring himself to look away. 

Until the car behind theirs began honking. Apparently, the light had turned green. The sound startled Alex so much, he jumped in his chair and hurriedly started driving again. 

A few seconds passed before he heard quiet giggles coming from beside him. Willie was laughing. The sound was bright and bouncgy, reverberating around the small space. 

Alex couldn't help but join in.

* * *

An hour and a half had passed without much mishap. There had been an incident with a slippery breakfast sandwich and an unexpected speed bump, but the both of them had just laughed it off, thankfully.

Willie had offered to share his breakfast burrito with Alex instead, which he bashfully accepted with brightly flushed cheeks. 

"So," Alex said, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "I feel like I've bored you to death with stories about me--"

"--you could never bore me, Alex."

Alex blushed and sucked his lips into his mouth in a feeble attempt to hide his smile. "Tell me about you and your family." He reached over and turned down the speakers so he could hear Willie clearer. 

Willie took a slow sip of his coffee before answering. "What do you wanna know?"

 _Everything._ "What are your siblings like?" Alex settled on. "You said you were the eldest of five, right?"

Willie hummed. "It was always a little hectic in my house growing up, but I kind of loved it. There was never really any peace and quiet."

Alex smiled. The exasperated affection in Willie's voice reminded him of his own brothers. "I get what you mean."

Willie rested his head back against the headrest and sighed. "Yeah. I miss it sometimes. I'm living with my Uncle Caleb right now and he's _great_ , but... the house is always a little too quiet." 

"What's your uncle up to?" Alex asked. "I know you said he would be away for Christmas, right?"

Willie nodded, perking up. "Yeah! He's a performer. He booked a job on a cruise ship a couple months back, so... if it weren't for you, I'd be spending Christmas alone, so... thank you." 

Alex laughed, slightly uncomfortably. "You might not wanna thank me so soon," he said. "You haven't met my parents yet." 

"Still," Willie said softly. "I'm... I'm glad you asked for my help."

Alex's heart skipped a beat. If they weren't stuck in gridlock traffic, Alex might've crashed the car from the feeling alone.

"Well, you offered," Alex said quietly, looking over at Willie. "Have I thanked you for that?"

"Not in the past five minutes," Willie joked. He was grinning so sincerely; he could've told Alex that the drums were a _string_ instrument and he would've fully believed him.

Since the first day he'd met Willie, Alex had harboured the slightest of crushes on him. He'd always passed it off as the fleeting kind; the unattainable sort of crush on a college classmate that would fade, but never go away entirely; the kind that stayed in the back of your mind, lying dormant until you least expected it.

Alex had never expected his silly infatuation to actually... go anywhere.

But sitting next to Willie now, talking to him, getting to _know_ him just made him feel more... real. Less like the person Alex had built up in his head during all those English classes. 

It was scary how quickly he'd grown accustomed to seeing that smile.

"Alex--"

Willie was interrupted by the sharp sound of Alex's phone ringing, startling them both. Alex cursed quietly and looked at the contact name on screen. He sighed and sat back, smiling apologetically at Willie before clicking 'answer' and putting the phone on speaker. "Hello?"

"Alex, when are you getting here?"

The sound of his brother's voice was both comforting and endlessly irritating. "We're still on the I-5," he said. "It'll be another couple of hours."

Noah sighed heavily. Alex could hear him quietly grunt as he no-doubt fell back onto his bed. "Can't you drive faster?"

"Wh- _no_ , that's not how driving works, Noah," Alex said. He could see Willie try and stifle a laugh and he smiled, too. "Has Harrison arrived yet?"

"He got here like an hour ago," Noah said. "He's helping Mom with dessert for tonight."

Alex paused, his palms growing cold suddenly. "Grandma's pavlova?"

Noah was silent for a moment. "That's the one with the egg white and the fruit, right?" He was stalling.

"Yes."

"...then, yes."

Alex didn't respond, his mind racing. The pavlova had always been _their_ thing; something Alex and his Mom did together. After he came out, everything had changed, but that had been the one thing that had always stayed the same.

Until now, he supposed.

"Alex," Willie said quietly, causing him to remember where he was. "You okay?"

Alex looked at Willie and nodded weakly. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm good."

Even through the phone, Noah seemed to sense the tension. "It's probably just 'cause he got here first. No biggie, right?" Noah asked, voice purposefully light. Alex was grateful for that, at the very least. "Hey, Mom said you were bringing your boyfriend."

Alex rolled his eyes. "Did she really say that?"

Noah hesitated. "Okay, she said ' _friend'._ I connected the dots myself." 

Alex huffed out a laugh but there was no humour in it. "Yeah, I'm bringing my... my boyfriend." Saying the word in front of Willie felt strange... like trying to talk through a mouthful of cotton wool. "Is that... are you okay with that?"

"Yeah, of course." The offhanded tone in Noah's voice allowed some of the tension to fall away from Alex's shoulders. "What did you get me for Christmas?"

Alex rolled his eyes. A small, more genuine smile began to grow on his face though, despite himself. "I'm gonna hang up now," he said. "I'll be there in a couple hours."

He hung up and let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. 

"Your brother sounds really nice," Willie said. "I can't wait to meet him."

Alex smiled. "Yeah, they're both great," he said, digging his nail into the soft leather steering wheel. "Sorry, you were gonna say something before Noah called. What's up?" Alex waited until they stopped moving before turning to face Willie. 

Willie was looking out of the window, a pensive expression on his face. He seemed to notice Alex looking and he turned, giving him a smile that didn't feel... whole. 

"Oh! I uh... I forgot what I was gonna say," Willie said, shrugging sheepishly. 

Alex furrowed his eyebrows but didn't question it, turning the speaker back up. There was a tension that filled the air now that Alex didn't like. 

"Hey, um..." Alex opened the glove compartment and felt around for a CD case. "Do you... do you wanna listen to my band's demo?"

With that, Willie's grin returned full-force and Alex relaxed, smiling too.

"Are you kidding me, man? Yes!"

Alex grinned, opening the case and slipping the CD into the under-used CD compartment in his car stereo.

As the sound of Bobby's comfortingly familiar guitar strumming filled the car, Alex sat back. He subtly watched Willie from the corner of his eye, spirits lifting when he saw Willie's knee jogging up and down to the beat. 

As He quietly hummed along to Luke's vocals, Alex forced himself to forget about the strangeness that had temporarily overtaken them.

* * *

When they finally arrived at the Mercers, it was just past 1pm. 

Alex pulled into the driveway and sighed, feeling a _very_ familiar clenching sensation begin to build in his chest.

The roof was lined with multi-coloured Christmas lights. The light0up plastic reindeer statues they'd owned since Alex was barely old enough to walk were poised by the porch steps like always. To any random passersby, it was just another house. Welcoming and... cute with it's kitschy and common Christmas ornaments. 

To Alex, it felt more like a prison with fading orange shingles and French doors.

Willie seemed to notice his distress. He could feel eyes on him as he stared at the house. 

"Are you ready for this?" Willie asked, unbuckling his seatbelt slowly. "If you're not, we could... maybe drive around the block for a while?"

Alex shook his head. "No, I... I'm okay."

They got out of the car together and grabbed their things. Alex fumbled with his keys shakily. Willie rushed to his side and gently took the keys out of Alex's hands, locking the car for him. Willie was so close that Alex could smell the faint scent of coconut shampoo... or maybe it was aftershave. Regardless of what it was, it soothed Alex somewhat.

"Hey, it's okay," Willie said quietly. "I've got you."

Alex breathed out shakily and nodded, focusing on Willie's eyes as they stared directly into his own. Then, he felt Willie's hand slip into his and give him a gentle squeeze. The moment their hands touched, Alex felt a spark of electricity shoot through his arm, as cliche as it sounded.

"Yeah, okay," Alex managed to say quietly. He mustered up a smile and squeezed Willie's hand back. "I'm ready."

They walked up the steps hand-in-hand; Alex tried desperately not to think about it too much. _He was just trying to be nice, surely._ He clenched his jaw when the both of them stopped just shy of the front door. The felt wreath that he'd made with Harrison and Noah when he was 5-years-old was hanging in the door, the same as every year. The normalcy startled Alex. He squeezed Willie's hand as he reached up to ring the doorbell, pressing it firmly once. 

Alex could hear quiet noises behind the door and he tensed. When the door finally opened, he swallowed nervously, mustering up a small smile.

"Hey, Mom."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so just a few things:   
> 1\. I'm definitely projecting my love of The Band CAMINO onto my boys because this is my fic and i make the rules <3 stream roses!!!
> 
> 2\. thank you so so much for all the support and comments on chapter 2!!! they're so lovely and heartwarming to read ah!!! literally every time i get a new email i get really excited 🥺 
> 
> 3\. idk how to drive and i've also never been to california so !! if ur from california i'm deeply sorry 
> 
> thank you for reading! i hope y'all enjoyed this chapter!! i'ma try and get started on chapter 4 real soon so u guys don't have to wait too long!! but if u want content in the meantime 👀 u can always follow me on tumblr @alexthedrummerboy cause i have a social media au goin on there that i think is quite fun! 
> 
> okay comments and kudos are appreciated as usual!! thank u all for being so freaking sweet and making my day constantly 🥺❤️  
> \- Brit xx


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! translations for any french bits will be in the authors note at the end of the chapter!

The moment the door swung open, a gust of cold wind swept past Willie and Alex, rustling their hair and making Alex shiver. It was almost as if the weather knew _just_ who they were about to encounter.

Standing at the door in all of her five-foot, three-inch glory... was Estelle Mercer.

She looked like the quintessential suburban Christian housewife with her powdered sugar covered apron and her pastel sweater. The smile on her face was lipstick-lined and sweet... syrupy, almost. Everything about her was just slightly too perfect, _too_ careful.

Alex remembered thinking his mother slept like that when he was younger; with her make up done simply but perfectly and not a hair out of place. Even at 18-years-old, he'd never seen her break so much as a nail. 

"Hey, mom," he said breathlessly. He felt Willie's grip around his hand tighten and he relaxed his shoulders just a tad; Willie's touch soothed him, anchored him, almost.

The silence couldn't have lasted longer than a second and a half, but to Alex it felt like an eternity. Estelle's eyes flickered for a moment between Willie and Alex; the movement was barely noticeable, but Alex caught it. He wondered if Willie had too. 

"Alex," she said, her lipstick stained smile remaining still on her lips. "Welcome home, honey." She wiped her hands on the hem of her apron, finally looking over at Willie. Her smile tightened. "I see you brought your... _friend_." Estelle hesitated for a moment before turning to Alex. _"Bon sang, mais ses cheveux sont longs, ne trouves-tu pas?"_

Alex huffed. "Mom--"

"My neck gets cold easily," Willie interjected. Alex turned his head to look at Willie, eyes wide with surprise. "I had my hair short when I was a kid, but I think my mom got tired of buying my scarves." Then, he flashed Estelle a warm, charming smile; one that made Alex's cheeks gently warm. 

He seemed to slip into the 'perfect boyfriend' role so effortlessly, it made Alex wonder _just_ how many times he'd done this before. Hm. He didn't entirely like thinking about that.

"I... you speak French?" Estelle replied, cheeks flushed and mouth agape.

Willie smiled and shrugged bashfully. "Yeah. I haven't been able to speak it much since I graduated high school, though." He let go of Alex's hand and held it out in front of him. "I'm sorry, I didn't introduce myself! I'm Willie. It's really nice to finally meet you, Mrs. Mercer."

Estelle cleared her throat and took Willie's offered hand, shaking it slowly. "Right. Likewise... Willie." 

They dropped their hands and stood there, all three of them silent and vaguely uncomfortable. Alex cleared his throat, trying to force away the smile that threatened to consume his features. "Uh... can we come in, Mom?" Alex asked, hitching his bag higher up on his shoulder.

Then, almost as though she'd never left, Estelle whirred back into her 'perfect mother' role, opening the door and stepping aside. "We were just about to have lunch," she said, closing the door behind them. "I'm not sure if either of you are hungry at all...?"

The moment Alex stepped into the house, a myriad of conflicting, familiar, and all-too-strong feelings washed over him. He looked around carefully. Not much had changed in the six months he'd been gone, and yet, standing in the foyer he'd spent 18 years of his _life_ in... Alex had never felt more like an outsider.

"Um..." Alex focused back on his mother who was cautiously eyeing Willie as he examined the few framed pictures by the front door. "We actually ate on the way here. I was just gonna show Willie to my room."

"About that," Estelle said, looking between the two of them. "Your... your father and I just refurbished the guest room, so your friend may stay there." She paused, fiddling with the cross around her neck. "We just aren't comfortable with you two staying in your room together."

_Oh._

Truth be told, that hadn't even crossed Alex's mind at all. The very insinuation made his cheeks flush bright red; he could only imagine how ridiculous he looked.

Alex shook his head rapidly. "Wh--, we weren't..." he trailed off, hooking a finger between his wrist and his bracelet and tugging lightly. He didn't even want to _look_ in Willie's general direction. "Fine, whatever." Estelle raised a slow eyebrow in Alex's direction and he squirmed. "I mean... okay, Mom." He dug his fingernails into the palm of his hand, leaving behind light, crescent-moon shaped imprints in his soft skin. 

It wasn't until he felt a hand gently clasp his shoulder that Alex loosened his grip. He turned and saw Willie looking at him, eyes soft and quietly focused. There was no pity in them; just pure, unbridled _support._

Alex couldn't even begin to think about how much he appreciated that.

"The guest room is more than okay, Mrs. Mercer," Willie said, hand still squeezing Alex's shoulder. "Thank you so much for accommodating me."

A strange look crossed Estelle's face as her eyes fell on Willie's hand. Alex wasn't sure he'd ever seen that look on her face before. 

"Of course," she said stiffly. "Noah can show you to the guest room."

Alex raised his eyebrows. "Mom, I can show him, it's fine."

"I'd be more comfortable if Noah escorted our guest to his room, Alex," Estelle replied. Her tone told Alex there was no point arguing with her, so Alex just grit his teeth and nodded.

"Fine. Where is he?"

Estelle led them to the dining table where Noah and Harrison were trying (and failing) to look casual, like they hadn't just been eavesdropping. The sigh of them both made a quiet, relieved sigh escape Alex's lips.

"Hey, guys," he said, taking a step forward and dropping his duffel bag onto a dining chair. 

Noah was the first to look up. "Hey, Alex!" he said, shoving his food around his plate. His eyes darted between Alex and Willie, a slow smile growing on his face. "Hi, Alex's boyfriend."

Alex's cheeks flushed bright pink. He was mere _seconds_ away from wiring Noah's braces shut entirely. 

Before he could think of anymore creative, murderous thoughts, Estelle cleared her throat. The smile on Noah's face faltered. 

"Noah, can you show Willie to the guest room, please?" she asked pointedly. 

Noah and Alex shared a quiet look, but still he got up without protest. "Yeah." 

The two of them disappeared into the hallway, leaving Alex, Harrison, and Estelle in the dining room. The tense, awkward silence hung heavily in the air. 

"So, um..." Alex said, turning to face his mother, "where's Dad?"

Estelle cleared her throat and smoothed down her apron. "He's... he got called into work last minute. He'll be home for dinner." Suddenly, they were interrupted by the sound of a ringtone blaring loudly from _somewhere_ inside the house. Estelle looked around, her eyebrows furrowed. That was new. She seemed almost... flustered. Alex had never seen her like this before. 

"You left your phone in the kitchen when we were making the..." Harrison trailed off, looking at Alex for a moment, "... the pavlova."

Even the word made Alex flinch. 

"Right. The kitchen," she said quietly. "Alex, feel free to help yourself." She hesitated before walking to the kitchen, the sound of her heels click-click-clicking against the hardwood floor. Alex couldn't help but resent her last statement, just the tiniest bit. Why did he need to be told to _feel free_ like he was a guest and _not_ a member of this family? 

Alex watched her go before taking a seat at the dining table across from Harrison who was avoiding his gaze. A pit began to grow in Alex's stomach. He'd never seen his brother act so... soft spoken. A part of him couldn't help but wonder if this was about... 

His fingers found his bracelet yet again, pulling on it gently and feeling the threat pull itself taut against the back of his wrist. Harrison had gotten it for him years ago, right after Alex came out. He barely ever took it off. His brother had always been so _vocal_ about his support for Alex, but... maybe it was easier to talk the talk than walk the walk.

Alex slapped his thighs awkwardly before looking at Harrison, trying to keep a breezy smile on his face. Harrison didn't look up. "So, uh... on a scale of one to ten, how similar is your life to _Grey's Anatomy_?"

Harrison finally cracked a smile and looked up. "Well... I'm only in my first year of med school, so... zero."

They chuckled together but it felt strangely loaded. It made Alex's stomach churn.

"Are you--"

"Do--"

They both stopped talking at the same time, looking at each other with wide eyes. Harrison gestured for Alex to go first and he clenched his jaw. 

"Do you think it's weird that I brought Willie?" Alex asked. The words came out breathlessly and all too fast. "Is he why you're being so... quiet?"

Harrison raised his eyebrows, eyes widening in realisation. "What? No! No, Alex, I... I think it's awesome that you brought your boyfriend." Alex didn't think he'd ever get used to hearing that word. "I'm sorry. I... he looks like a nice guy."

Alex nodded slowly, heart rate slowing just a touch. "Okay... so why have you been acting so weird? You've barely even looked at me since I arrived."

Harrison sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "No, I-I'm sorry. This isn't about Willie at all." He bit his lip, picking at his cuticles. Alex knew he only ever did that when he was nervous. "Are you mad that Mom asked me to make grandma's pavlova with her for tonight?"

Alex paused, eyes straying toward the Christmas tree standing in the corner of their living room. _Was he mad?_

"No! I... why would I be mad?" Alex asked. He shrugged his shoulders but the action didn't feel natural. It felt... stiff.

"I mean, I know you and Mom usually do it together, that's all."

"We did," he said quietly. For a split second, Alex remembered being 12 again, watching his Mom with mesmerised eyes as she separated the egg whites from their yolks flawlessly. To this day, that was still his favourite part of making the pavlova. "But it's just a stupid tradition. It's whatever."

Harrison looked unsure, but he nodded regardless. "Okay," he replied, "but if it makes you feel any better, I don't think Mom liked having me as a sous chef very much."

Alex laughed, genuinely this time; though he couldn't explain why it didn't make him feel any better.

"Listen, Lex..." Harrison sighed and looked back toward the kitchen. Estelle was standing with her back to them, speaking into the phone in quiet, rapid French. "I know Mom can be a pain, but she... she's had a tough time lately."

Alex sucked on his teeth. "You say that like she hasn't been against me being gay since I was 14, Harry."

Harrison nodded, fiddling with his fork and spoon. He was quiet for a second before he spoke again. "Yeah... you're right. Forget I said anything." He sat back and smiled, wiggling his eyebrows at Alex. "Tell me about Willie."

Suddenly, the tension in the room shifted into something entirely new. Alex felt the back of his neck begin to heat up. "I... h-he..." Alex pursed his lips.

 _Tell me about Willie._ What could he say, really? That he barely knew the guy? That, despite that, he felt like he'd known him basically his whole life? That he made Alex feel like he was _floating_ most of the time?

"He's... great. Amazing, even, you know?" Alex started, avoiding Harrison's gaze. "We... he's _so_ cool and-and sweet and I'm just... I don't know how I got so lucky, you know?"

Harrison smiled, eyes scanning Alex's face slowly. "You seem happier," he said. "I'm happy for you, man."

"Thanks."

A quiet kind of discomfort grew in Alex's chest, though he wasn't entirely sure why. 

Maybe it was because none of this was _real_. It was all smoke and mirrors; a facade. So, if Alex really _did_ seem happier, then... how much of that was real?

* * *

When Willie had agreed to help Alex, he hadn't exactly known why he'd done it. Maybe he'd wanted to form _some_ kind of relationship with him outside of their friendly, tentative classroom friendship. Or maybe Willie had just wanted to make Alex smile. 

But now, standing in Alex's house, Willie wondered... maybe he hadn't entirely thought his plan through. 

He was about to spend three days in much too close proximity to Alex, pretending to _date_ the very guy he had a crush on. He wondered how long it would take for the lines to start blurring.

Willie and Noah walked down the hallway together, Willie happily listening to Noah as he prattled on about how he'd helped furnish the guest room. Then, as they rounded the corner, something caught Willie's eye. A picture hanging on the wall in a classic, black frame.

In the picture was a younger-looking Estelle and a blonde man Willie didn't recognise; Alex's father, he guessed. Standing next to Alex's father was a boy who looked about seven-years-old, holding a disgruntled looking infant in his arms. 

"That's me and Harrison," Noah said, peeking over Willie's shoulder at the picture. He pointed at a third little boy standing next to Estelle, wearing a dark blue suit, the tiniest tie Willie had _ever_ seen fastened around his neck. "That's Alex."

The sight of a baby-faced Alex made Willie grin uncontrollably. He was all blonde hair and flushed cheeks and grinning eyes. He was smiling in the picture, holding on tightly to his mother's hand. 

Willie couldn't help but notice the loving, bright grin on Estelle's face; it was so different from the proper, formal woman he'd met mere minutes ago.

"He looks so..." Willie trailed off, nibbling on the corner of his lip. "He looks like he was a happy kid."

Noah nodded and leaned against the wall beside the picture frame. "He was," he said after a few quiet moments. "I mean... I don't remember much, but he was a great big brother growing up. He always made time to play with me and he always made me laugh."

Willie smiled softly, imagining a bite-sized Alex playing with a pudgy infant. The image was almost too adorable to process. 

"Where was this taken?"

Noah squinted at the picture. "Um... I think that was my baptism," he said, scratching his wrist sheepishly. "That's why I'm wearing a dress."

Willie smiled, bumping Noah's shoulder playfully. "You're totally rockin' it, man."

Noah chuckled. Willie counted that as a success. He looked at the picture for a second longer, smiling at the baby version of Alex before turning away and facing Noah once again. "So... guest room?"

They continued walking together, Willie following Noah dutifully and tightening his grip on his bag strap.

"Here it is," Noah said, pushing open the door. The room was nice; newly decorated and very obviously carefully thought out. It just felt a little bit... cold. 

Willie smiled and placed his bag down by the nightstand. "This looks great," he said, turning toward Noah. "You helped furnish this?"

Noah nodded excitedly. "Yeah! My Mom and Dad were gonna work on it together, but he was... too busy, so she asked me to help out."

That made Willie pause for a moment. he hadn't heard much about Alex's Dad in all of their preparations and conversations. There had been short mentions of him here and there, but their focus had always been on Alex's mother. 

Willie vaguely wondered why that was.

"Sorry about Mom, by the way," Noah said tentatively, leaning against the doorjamb, "and that you and Alex can't, uh... bunk together."

Willie raised his eyebrow as he desperately tried _not_ to think about the emotional disaster that would no doubt ensue if he and Alex had been allowed to share a room. Willie was good at keeping a calm, level-head at most times, but he had his limits. 

"It's cool, I get it," he said with a shrug. "She's conservative. This isn't my first turn down the half-pipe."

The scrutinizing look Noah gave him made Willie feel mildly uncomfortable. "So, how long have you and Alex been dating?" he asked, shoving his hands into his pockets. 

Willie blanched, his stomach falling to the floor. 

They hadn't discussed that... not yet anyway. Willie didn't know how they hadn't; they'd told each other the subtle intricacies of their familial relationships... but they hadn't remembered to come up with a feasible lie?

"Um... w-well, it's fairly recent," he said, fiddling with the hem of his shirt, "but I mean, before we started dating, I... I liked him for a while."

Noah raised his eyebrows, a small smirk growing on his lips. "Really?" he asked, "that's cute, I guess." He hesitated for a moment before giving Willie a soft, unreadable look. "You seem cool, Willie. And it seems like you really care about my brother." 

Willie cleared his throat, bringing a hand up to tightly grip the key hanging from his neck. "I... yeah, I do," he said quietly, mustering up a small smile. 

A familiar voice coming from down the hall interrupted their conversation and Willie exhaled slowly. 

"Are you done embarrassing me yet?" Alex asked, walking up behind Noah and giving Willie an apologetic smile. 

"We were just talking, Lex." The moniker slipped past Willie's lips before he could properly register it. He flushed gently, eyes wide as he watched a look of surprise fall onto Alex's face. 

"'Lex'?" Alex repeated quietly. Willie could see the way his cheeks were turning a gentle shade of pink.

"Um..." Neither of them noticed Noah quietly slip away with a knowing smirk glued to his lips. "I... it just slipped out. Was that okay?"

Alex smiled, running his hands through his hair. "Yeah, I kinda liked it." He bit his lip and Willie had to _force_ himself to keep his gaze locked on Alex's eyes. "Does that mean I can start calling you 'Will' now?" 

A warm feeling grew and spread in Willie's chest and he shrugged, trying to tamp down his excited smile. "You can call me anything you want, Alex."

They held eye contact for a moment longer before Alex ducked his head with a soft (adorable) chuckle. 

"That's a pretty cute baby photo of you in the hallway," Willie said cheekily, taking a step forward towards Alex. 

Alex groaned, covering his face with his hands. "Can you do me a solid and pretend you didn't see that?" he asked. 

Willie hummed. "Maybe... I kinda don't want to, though." He grinned when the embarrassed smile only grew wider on Alex's face. 

"Well, you can show me one of your baby pictures, then we'll be even," he said quietly, dropping his hands and shoving them into his pockets. He looked remarkably like Noah, Willie noted. 

They chuckled together, both of them sporting pink cheeks and shy smiles. An energy buzzed through Willie's hands and fingers, a kind of energy that made him want to do something reckless and completely compulsive... but luckily, his self control got the better of him. 

"Noah seems really nice," he said, pushing down the urge to say what he _really_ wanted to.

Alex hummed. "Yeah, he's alright." He furrowed his eyebrows before looking at Willie with an inquisitive look. "Oh, I mean to ask... how did you know what my Mom was saying back there? You never told me you spoke French."

"Oh, that." Willie shrugged. "I did French immersion back home in Ontario, so... French is technically my second language. I didn't think it was important, I guess."

Alex's cheeks were lightly flushed. _Interesting._ "That's... that's really cool," he said quietly. "My Mom's family is French, so... I don't think she'd admit it, but I think she was kind of impressed."

Willie grinned at Alex and walked forward until he was standing directly in front of him, hands in his pockets. _"Je cherche à plaire,"_ he said softly, smirking as he watched the tips of Alex's ears grow red. "Do you speak French?"

"Nah," Alex said, his voice gravelly. "I mean, a little bit? I can understand it, but my accent leaves _much_ to be desired." 

"Maybe I could teach you a couple things," Willie replied. "I'm sure your accent isn't _that_ bad."

"No, man, it's pretty bad," Alex said with a self-deprecating chuckle. "I would say something, but I wouldn't wanna damage your ears."

Willie giggled and looked down, shaking his head. He couldn't help but notice how _natural_ it felt to be talking to Alex like this, standing so _close_ to him, close enough that he could count the freckles that lightly dusted the apples of his cheeks. 

He knew their relationship was fake, but his feelings for Alex were starting to come more and more into focus the more time they spent together. It was scary, but... _exhilarating._ And maybe there _was_ something here for the both of them. Maybe it wasn't all just in Willie's head.

Alex looked up and smiled tentatively at Willie before looking down the hall. Willie couldn't help but notice the way he straightened his posture and stiffened his shoulders. That was enough to pull Willie right back into reality. They weren't _real_. This was all a ruse, just an act to prove a point. Willie's brain started buzzing with conflicting thoughts, ones he didn't understand and others that he _wished_ he didn't understand. 

"...lie? Willie?"

Willie widened his eyes and looked at Alex as he pulled himself out of his thoughts. Alex's eyebrows were furrowed with concern, a small, confused smile on his face. It certainly didn't help Willie's internal crisis that Alex managed to be so effortlessly gorgeous. "Yeah? Sorry, I... I got distracted, I guess."

Alex raised an eyebrow but thankfully didn't question it. "I was just asking if you wanted a quick tour of the house." 

"Oh! Yeah, sure, that sounds great." 

Alex nodded and smiled, leading Willie out of the guest room and back down the hallway. As he followed Alex and listened to him quietly talk about his house and growing up, Willie thought to himself... maybe their relationship wasn't real, but God, he was going to do everything he could to make sure their friendship was. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translations:  
> "Bon sang, mais ses cheveux sont longs, ne trouves-tu pas?" - "Goodness, his hair is rather long, don't you think?"
> 
> "Je cherche à plaire," - "I try to please."
> 
> also canadian!willie is canon and none of u can stop me. i'm a little iffy about this chapter tbh!! i feel like it's meh but hopefully some of u like it! sorry it took so long, i've been moving into my new apartment and trying to adjust to jetlag (flying from hong kong to vancouver isn't..... pretty) so this took longer than i would've liked it to.
> 
> hope everyone's staying safe and healthy! lemme know what you thought either in the comments or send me an ask @alexthedrummerboy!! <3 <3 
> 
> \- Brit xx


	5. Chapter 5

When Alex had been in high school, he'd let exactly five people and five people _only_ into his music room. Those people were his brothers, Luke, Reggie, and Bobby. 

His parents had remodelled the basement into a music room for him as a surprise for his eleventh birthday. To this day, it was the best gift he'd ever received. After he came out, he spent basically all of the time he wasn't in his bedroom in the basement, trying to pretend that he could pound away his parents' disapproval and his own anger and frustration with a pair of 5A's... and it worked for a while. Until his parents got louder and his earplugs stopped working as well.

Part of Alex was nervous about letting Willie see his studio; his _sacred space_. A part of his soul. It was so personal that being in it on a bad day made Alex feel like an intruder himself. 

But a second part, a louder part, desperately wanted to throw open the door and invite Willie in with no hesitation. He wanted to share that piece of his soul with him... for some reason. 

That second realization made Alex's heart pound. 

"Alex?" Willie asked, breaking his train of thought with a gentle hand on his elbow. Alex looked up from where he was boring a hole into into the doorknob with his eyes. "You... hiding a body in there or something?"

Willie's laugh made Alex feel lighter almost instantly, filling him with giddy ease. 

"No!" he replied breathlessly. "Nothing that interesting... it's just my drums."

Willie nodded, smile softening. "If you don't wanna show me, I get it. We can end the house tour here," he said. "I'll pretend this door never ever existed; like that one episode of _Doctor Who_."

Alex laughed. He didn't understand Willie's reference, but he felt like he didn't really need to. Willie's eyes told him everything he needed to know. 

"No, I wanna show you," Alex replied, gripping the doorknob so tight, his knuckles turned white. 

Then, a warm hand gently wrapped itself around his own. Alex looked up at Willie and raised his eyebrows in surprise. Neither of them said anything as they both gently twisted the doorknob and opened the door.

On the other side of the door, the room lay virtually untouched. Band posters lined the walls like a second layer of wallpaper, a rack of CD's and an old stereo older than Alex sat in the corner of the room. Luke had brought it one day, but had never taken it back (he'd always been a fan of more old fashioned technology). The light from the basement window filtered in, gently lighting the room up with slivers of afternoon sun.

The leather couch he and Bobby had taken (stolen) from some old grouchy neighbour's porch was still there, gathering dust and cracks from age. The cardboard box-coffee table sat barely a foot away from it, looking ready to collapse at any moment... but then again, it had looked like that for three years.

Alex looked around the room slowly, almost as if _he_ were the one seeing it for the first time. It was comforting to know the room hadn't been touched in his absence, but still seeing it so devoid of the life that he, Luke, Reggie, and Bobby had breathed into it was more than a little bit unsettling.

"Is this your kit?"

Alex looked up from where he was examining his old Fall Out Boy poster (it had begun to unstick from the blu-tack he’d stuck to it over six years ago).

Willie was standing in front of a tarp-covered lump in the centre of the room. Alex smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, that's her," Alex said, walking over and running a hand across the dust cover. 

Willie smirked, eyebrow playfully cocked. "'Her'?" he asked. "Should I be jealous?"

Alex blushed bright pink. "Hardly," he scoffed, gripping the dust cover and pulling it off with one quick movement, sending particles of dust floating through the air.

"Wow," Willie breathed, walking around it slowly. "This... this is awesome, Alex!"

Alex bit his lip, trying to hide his flush of pride. "Yeah? You think so?"

Willie nodded, squatting in front of the bass drum to observe the few stickers Alex had stuck to it. He scratched the back of his neck and glanced at them, too. 

"I stuck those on in eighth... maybe ninth grade?" Alex said, kicking the base of the drum gently. 

Willie traced the edge of one of the stickers with his finger. "That explains the Brendon Urie sticker." His giggle was kind, joyful. It made Alex smile too despite his growing embarrassment.

"Will you play me something?" Willie asked, standing up and shoving his hands in his pockets. 

"Um..." Alex didn't think he could say 'no' to Willie even if he wanted to; and he _really_ didn't want to. "S-sure. What do you wanna hear?"

"Something from your band's demo."

Alex raised his eyebrows and watched as Willie made himself comfortable on the couch. "I... yeah, okay." He hesitated before walking over to the CD rack, plucking out one of the many copies of their demo that had been sitting there for God knows how long. He wiped off the plastic case before taking the CD out and sliding it into the stereo. 

The stereo hummed to life and Alex rushed to his stool, straddling it and pulling his sticks out of their holder on the side of his kit. 

He breathed out quietly and twirled his drumstick around nervously as he waited for the music to start playing. An uncontrollable smile grew on his face as a familiar beat started coursing through his arms and legs. As the rhythm filled his chest, Alex could feel the tension leave his shoulders and fly off the tips of his drumsticks. It was like an electric current flowing through him, taking control of his every thought, move, breath... and he loved _every second of it._

The harder he banged on the drums, the more invigorated he felt. When the song came to a close, he couldn't help but feel disappointed. Alex panted lightly and ran his hands through his hair, blinking down at his lap. Suddenly, he became all too aware Willie's eyes on him.

He looked up and cleared his throat, smiling bashfully at Willie who looked... surprised? Shell-shocked? _Were his cheeks just the slightest bit darker, too?_

"That was amazing!" Willie said with a grin. He raced over and pulled Alex up by his shoulders, giving him a playful shake. A laugh bubbled and burst out of Alex’s chest despite the nervous thoughts of ' _oh my god, he’s so close and smells so good–_ ’ that threatened to take over. 

"I... you really thought so?" Alex asked. Willie dropped his arms from Alex's shoulders and nodded.

"Yeah, man," he said, his excitement falling into something... softer, more sincere. "You're seriously talented, Alex."

Alex knew his face must've been bright red but he just couldn't be bothered enough to care. "Thanks, Willie, that means a lot."

Willie nodded. "I'd love to see you and your band perform sometime... if you'd be cool with that."

"More than cool." The words left Alex's instantly, without insecurity. 

Willie grinned, eyes dropping to Alex's throne. He circled the drum kit before lightly tapping on the hi-hat. "Could you teach me how to play something?"

Alex watched Willie circle his drums, trying his best not to get distracted by just how _effortless_ he looked. "Yeah! I could try." He gestured towards the throne. "I don't know if I'm the best teacher, but I'll try." 

Willie perched himself atop Alex's throne and looked up at him. "Where should we start, _Teach_?"

The name was... a surprise, but not unwelcome. In fact, Alex found that he kind of liked it. He handed Willie his sticks and stood behind him, trying not to get too close. "Okay, so, basically you have the cymbals, the toms, the bass, and the snare," he explained, pointing towards each of the pieces. "You see those pedals down there?"

Willie looked down and nodded. 

"Put your feet on them and try pressing on the bass pedal." 

Willie did as instructed and grinned when a gentle thud resonated through the basement. He pressed down on the hi-hat pedal and giggled at the loud crash that exuded from it. "Man, that's so cool," he said joyfully. He looked back up at Alex, hitting his sticks against his thigh. "What's next?"

Alex chuckled. Willie's enthusiasm was incredibly infectious. He remembered being as excited to play when he’d first started; something about giving a young boy a pair of sticks and permission to hit things, he supposed. "Okay, now hit the hi-hat with your leading hand," Alex said, pointing toward Willie's right hand.

"What if I'm left handed?" Willie asked with a smirk.

"Are you?"

"No."

"Then do what I say," Alex replied, trying to suppress his giddy chuckles. "I'm trying to teach here."

Willie giggled but did as instructed, hitting the hi-hat once with the stick in his right hand.

"You're gonna do that on every beat and off beat," Alex said. "I'll count you in and you can try. One and two and three and four..."

Willie hit the hi-hat as he was told, a slow smile growing his face as he played to the rhythm of Alex's voice. He looked so overjoyed; Alex thought he would've done anything to keep that smile on his face.

"Do you think you're ready to add the other hand?" Alex asked. Willie nodded, twirling the left drumstick between his fingers.

"Let's do this."

"Okay, I'm gonna count again, but on every 'two' and 'four,' you're gonna hit the snare." Alex paused and watched Willie prepare himself and shake out his nerves.

When Alex started counting again, he watched as Willie stiffly tried to keep up with the beat, eyebrows adorably furrowed and shoulders tight. Alex let the beat trail off and he wrinkled his nose. "That wasn't... bad!"

Willie shook his head with an embarrassed smile. "You don't have to lie just 'cause you're my friend."

Alex blushed and pushed back his bangs. "Nah, no, I'm not!" _he totally was._ "You just need a little practice." He hesitated. Smirked. "Okay, a lot of practice."

Willie smirked and hit his thigh with the stick one more time before looking back up at Alex. His eyebrows were raised in a way that made Alex's chest grow warm. "I think I might need some guidance, Lex."

There it was again. That single syllable that somehow made Alex's palms sweat and his heart race (though, everything Willie did seemed to have that same effect). "G-guidance?"

"You know how... little kids learning how to slow dance stand on their dad's feet?" Willie asked. 

Alex nodded with a smile. "I used to do something like that with Noah," he said. "When he was 11 and I was 13, he would sit in front of me on the stool and I'd sit behind him and guide his hands."

Willie didn't respond. He just gave Alex that smirk and scooted forward slightly on the throne. Alex's breath got caught in his throat. 

"I... you want me to..." he asked, fighting through the spit that got stuck in his throat. 

"If it's chill with you," Willie replied gently. "I totally get it if throne-sharing privileges are for younger brothers only, though."

That made Alex chuckle despite the inward struggle currently happening in his mind. He cleared his throat and wiped his sweaty palms on his pants. 

"Okay," he managed to say finally. "Yeah, let's... let's see if I can't make a half-decent drummer out of you yet."

Willie laughed excitedly and scooted further forward, making space for Alex. It couldn't have been particularly comfortable, but his smile remained ever present. 

Alex cleared his throat before gingerly sitting in the space Willie had left, his thighs bracketing Willie's hips. He was seconds away from losing his _mind._

They were so close that Alex's chest was practically _millimeters_ away from grazing Willie's back. His silky, long, brown hair gently tickled the tip of Alex's nose, filling his head with the pleasant smell of coconut shampoo. Alex wanted to bury his face in the back of Willie's neck and never come out. 

Thankfully, he restrained himself. He didn't even want to think of the embarrassment that would no doubt ensue if he let himself do what his heart told him to.

"Um..." _God, Alex was basically talking right into Willie's ear._ "Is it okay if I--"

"--Do what you gotta do, man." He wondered if the quiver he heard in Willie's voice was just his mind playing tricks on him. 

Alex nodded, though he knew Willie couldn't see him. He tried to still his shaking fingers as he brought his arms around Willie's until Alex's hands were shakily hovering over his. He could feel the gentle warmth exuding from Willie's knuckles as Alex slowly curled his fingers so they completely covered the backs of Willie's hands. 

Alex wasn't sure there was a single feeling on earth that could compare to having his arms wrapped - however loosely and _nervously_ \-- around Willie. 

"Well, um... there's your first problem," Alex said quietly, his right thumb gently brushing over Willie's tensed fingers. Even his voice was shaking. "You need to, um... you should keep your grip on the sticks fairly loose, so they'll bounce against the surface." He felt Willie's hands relax under his own palms. "Yeah, that's... that's better."

"What's next?" Willie's voice was quiet, but Alex could still hear his smile. He only wished he could see it, too. 

Alex peered over Willie's shoulder to take a look at the drums. If he were feeling particularly brave, he might've let himself hook his chin over Willie's shoulder and succumb to their closeness... but Alex had always considered himself something of a coward, so he continued to awkwardly hover, his cheek a hair's breadth away from Willie's.

"Okay, are you ready to try this again?" Alex asked, turning his head slightly to face Willie.

Willie turned too, all dark eyes and soft, light pink lips. and cheekbones. Alex never wanted to look away.

"Ready when you are," was all Willie said back. Alex nodded minutely and forced himself to tear his eyes away.

He tried to imagine that he was 13 again, teaching Noah how to play the simplest of beats in the hopes that that would satisfy him enough to leave Alex alone so he could rehearse in peace. 

But this wasn't the same as that at all.

Slowly, Alex counted them in and guided Willie's right hand towards the hi-hat, hitting it on every beat and off-beat. Then, he positioned both Willie's and his own hand over the snare, hitting it on the second and fourth counts. It took a few seconds before the two of them started creating sounds that were more rhythmic than cacophonous, but they got it... eventually. Alex grinned and began to loosen his grip on Willie's hands until they fell away completely and landed on his thighs. 

"You're doin' it, Man!" Alex exclaimed. 

As soon as the words left Alex's lips, though, Willie missed a beat and bowed his head, shoulders shaking with laughter. Alex joined in, albeit guiltily. 

"Maybe I should leave the drumming to the uh... professionals," Willie said, turning his head to look Alex in the eye once again. 

Alex was all too aware of how close they were; in fact his chest was starting to cramp up from all the effort it was taking not to just mould himself to Willie's back completely; but that was nothing compared to having Willie's face _this_ close to his. 

If he wanted to, he could've counted every single one of Willie's eyelashes. 

Willie's eyes darted downwards for a moment - it was quick but Alex still caught it. The tips of his fingers were beginning to tingle and grow endlessly warm. Alex felt like they'd been looking at each other for hours. 

He took a slow breath and chanced a look down at Willie's lips that were hopelessly close to his own. So close that he could almost feel them...

But then Willie was gone and the silence in the basement was quickly replaced with the sound of a phone ringing. Alex blinked and looked down at the space in front of the kickdrum where Willie was now sat, arms spread to maintain his balance after falling off the stool.

Willie felt around in his pockets and pulled out his phone, sighing when he saw the name on his homescreen. He stood up and looked at Alex apologetically. "Sorry," he said. His voice cracked on the second syllable; Alex would've smiled if he weren't so damn flustered. "It's my uncle. Do you mind if I...?"

Alex quickly shook his head. "No! Go ahead!"

Willie hesitated before giving Alex a small smile and walking out of the basement. Alex heard a faint " _Unc?"_ before Willie closed the basement door behind him.

The moment he heard the door click shut, Alex folded over until his chest was pressed against his thighs. All the blood rushed to his head, but he couldn't bring himself to care. His heart was in his stomach and his brain was practically leaking out of his ears.

"Holy shit," Alex breathed, sitting back and rubbing his chest. He pulled his own phone out of his pocket and clicked on a familiar contact. The phone didn't ring for longer than a few seconds before Alex heard two familiar voices call out his name on the other end.

"Alex!" Reggie and Bobby exclaimed in unison. Their voices instantly eased a fraction of the anxiety in Alex's chest.

"Hey, guys," he said with a soft laugh. "Is it just you two? Where's Luke?"

"Luke's pouting 'cause Julie had to go home for Christmas eve," Bobby replied, laughter filling the receiver. Alex could hear muffled fabric and the quiet thumping of... cushions? "It's the truth! Put the pillow down, Luke, you're gonna break something!"

Alex rolled his eyes, but couldn't stop the envy that rose like bile in the back of his throat. He'd only been gone for a few hours, but... he missed his family.

"What are you guys up to?" Alex asked, picking at a loose thread in the rip of his jeans. It was Reggie who answered this time. 

"Well, we _were_ doing a festive underwear movie night," he said, surprisingly calmly despite the sounds of Bobby and Luke fighting in the background. "We're watching _Eloise at Christmastime."_

Alex frowned (pouted). "You guys are doing underwear movie night without me?" he asked, slightly petulantly. 

"When you get back, we can do another one!" Luke yelled, voice muffled and distant. "Bobby, let _go of me--"_

"--How's home?" Reggie asked, cutting off Luke's pained howl. "How's the dragon lady?"

Alex sighed. He didn't even feel like chuckling at Reggie's _less_ than affectionate name for his mother. "Fine," he mumbled. "Same old." He paused for a second. "Mom made the pavlova without me." 

Suddenly, all noise on the other end stopped. For a moment, Alex worried that the call had been dropped. 

"She did?" Luke asked, breaking the silence. 

Alex nodded before remembering they couldn't see him. "Yeah. She made it with Harrison instead."

Bobby sighed. "I'm sorry, Alex," he said quietly, "that's really shitty."

"Yeah, we know how important that is to you." Reggie's voice was quiet, stilted. 

Alex swallowed thickly, furrowing his eyebrows in an attempt to fight the familiar burning behind his eyes. "It's fine," he mumbled. "Like... it's _not_ , but I'll deal." He let himself sniff exactly once before refocusing himself, half-heartedly pressing down on his bass pedal. "Anyway, that's not why I called."

"What's up?" Reggie asked.

Alex blushed, eyes fixed on the door Willie had just walked out of. "I think... um..." he pressed on the pedal a few more times. "I think Willie and I almost... _kissed_." He whispered the word, as if afraid that Willie could hear him through two layers of sound proofing and insulation _and_ a closed door. 

A pause. Then, Alex heard a yelp so loud, he had to hold the phone away from his ear for fear of rupturing an eardrum. 

"That's my boy!" Luke exclaimed. Alex groaned and covered his face with his palm. "What happened?"

The whole scene replayed through Alex's head from start to finish. If he focused hard enough, he could almost smell the last vestiges of Willie's shampoo. 

"I-I was just teaching him how to play a beat on my drum kit and there was this... moment? I guess?"

He didn't tell them about how they'd been practically pressed flush against one another; or about how Willie's nose sloped downward at such a perfect angle that it looked unreal; or about the tiny mole just below Willie's bottom lip that Alex might've paid too much attention to.

Those details felt too personal. Too private to share, at least for now. 

"Then?" Reggie asked. "Who made the first move?"

The back of Alex's neck grew hot. "Neither of us! N-no moves were made," he said, pressing on his hi-hat pedal this time. The sound of the crash made him wince. "He got a phone call and practically ran out of the room. I don't know, maybe I'm overthinking everything."

"I mean... you said you guys almost kissed, right?" Bobby said slowly. "It takes two to tango. I bet he totally would've kissed you if he hadn't gotten that phone call."

Alex chewed on the corner of his lip. "I don't know, Bee..."

"Alex, you're a catch!" Luke said. "Willie's not an idiot, he _must_ be able to see that."

"How do you know Willie's not an idiot?" Alex asked with a smile. "You've never met him."

Alex could practically hear Luke's shrug over the phone. "You never would've fallen for an idiot."

That comment gave Alex pause. His automatic reaction was to say that he hadn't 'fallen for' Willie; surely it was far too soon to say that. 

But it was scary how well those words fit how Alex was feeling. 

"I'll call you guys later, okay?" he said softly. "Enjoy your underwear movie night."

The door opened just as Alex said the word 'underwear' and Willie walked back into the basement, one eyebrow raised and a smirk on his lips. Alex clamped his lips shut and hung up the phone, running his fingers through his hair. _Maybe his bangs would hide the embarrassment on his face._

"Underwear movie night?" Willie asked. "What's that?"

"Uh... my bandmates and I do this thing sometimes," Alex said, rubbing the back of his neck. "We take turns picking a movie and we just... watch it in our underwear. It was Luke's idea... dude _loves_ to be naked."

Willie laughed and shook his head. "That sounds like a great time, honestly."

"It's pretty great," Alex said, joining Willie with a giggle of his own. "Everything okay?" he asked, gesturing towards the phone in Willie's hand.

Willie nodded and slipped his phone back into his pocket. "Yeah. My uncle was just checking in on me. The cruise he's on just docked at Costa Rica and he managed to find cell service." He rolled his eyes, but the smile on his mouth betrayed any exasperation be. might've been trying to portray. "He gets a little overprotective, but he's cool." Willie bit his lip. "I told him about you."

Alex raised his eyebrows, breath catching. "Oh?" he asked. "What'd you tell him?"

Willie shrugged, twisting his bracelets around his wrist. "Just that you invited me over for Christmas," he said; though the feigned lightness in his voice made Alex wonder if he was being totally honest. "He said he's grateful that I won't be alone for the holidays."

Alex huffed out a half-hearted chuckle. "Being alone on Christmas might be preferable to what you're about to experience."

Willie's smile softened and he walked towards Alex, stopping just shy of the drum kit. "I don't think so," he said, running a hand around the edge of Alex's cymbal. "I'm having a pretty great time so far."

Alex wasn't exactly sure how he was supposed to act when Willie stared at him like that; like he was something... _extraordinary._

"Yeah," he said finally. "I'm having a great time too."

* * *

Neither of them mention the drum lesson or the tension again once they leave the basement and shut the door. Alex can tell that he's not the only one who's feeling this strange electricity between them, but... he doesn't want to be the first one to mention it. 

They walked up the stairs together and were about to head down the hall to Alex's bedroom when Alex heard four words that made him break out into a cold sweat.

"Boys, your father's home!"

Alex heard the front door shut and the sound of muffled, quiet voices. He stared down into the open doorway separating him and Willie from the living room and tightened his hand into a fist. Yet again, just like earlier, he felt Willie's hand cover his own. 

"Hey," Willie said quietly, running his thumb across Alex's tight knuckles. "I'm right here, okay?" 

Alex nodded and unfurled his hand, pressing his palm against Willie's and twisting their fingers together. "You ready to meet my Dad?" Alex asked. Willie grinned.

"Hell yeah."

They walked down the hallway and through the doorway together, Alex's breath growing increasingly short with each step. He could hear his father's voice grow louder the closer they got. When they finally reached the living room, Alex squeezed Willie's hand. 

His father was standing with his back to Alex and Willie. He was dressed in his work clothes and still holding onto his briefcase (the same one he'd gotten from his father that he vowed _never_ to replace regardless of how outdated it got). He was talking to Noah about something Alex couldn't hear -- the blood rushing in his ears was too loud.

"Hey, Dad," Alex said finally. He was sure by now that he was holding Willie's hand tight enough to bruise. 

Christopher turned around, finally. He was an imposing man, to be sure. He was taller than Alex and Willie, with light blonde hair gently dusted with grey that made him look distinguished. Everything about him was... calculated. Stiff; like a freshly ironed and starched shirt. His eyes were a pale, piercing blue that darted between Alex and Willie's faces slowly before falling to their joined hands. His reaction was minute, but noticeable to Alex. He saw the light wrinkle that appeared between his father's eyebrows and the way he rolled his shoulders back uncomfortably. Alex had seen that stance hundreds of times before. 

"Alex," Christopher said. There were no hugs, no cries of affection, no ' _I missed you's_. They weren't that type of family. His father had never been one for… _hugs_. He’d always been a rough chuck-on-the-shoulder kind of guy. "How are you?"

"Good," he responded, looking over at Willie quickly. Despite the awkward tension that filled the room, he was still smiling. Alex admired him for that. "Um... there's someone that I want you to meet, actually." 

Christopher's eyes slid from Alex to Willie. He hummed lowly and unmelodically. "Right. Your friend," he said, choking around the word _friend_ like it was a bitter pill. "William, was it?"

"Willie, actually... sir," Willie said, reaching his free hand out toward Christopher. "It's nice to meet you." 

"Willie," Christopher repeated, eyebrows raised. "That's hardly a _proper_ name, is it?" 

For the first time since they'd arrived, Willie looked... shocked. It wasn't obvious, but it was there. "Um... well, William is my full name, but--"

"--the name _William_ means one who is strong-willed. A protector," Christopher said, ignoring Willie's offered hand. "I _personally_ wouldn't want to diminish the power behind that name by shortening it to something as diminutive as... Willie."

With every second of this interaction that passed, Alex wanted nothing more than to jump right back into his car and drive back to Los Angeles. _God, why did he ever think this would be a good idea?_ He looked over at Willie who'd dropped his hand by now. The smile on his face was tight in the corners and his grip on Alex's hand was beginning to slack. Alex could feel the guilt beginning to rise in his chest. _He never should've gotten Willie involved._

"I'm... sorry?" Willie said with an awkward chuckle.

Christopher hummed again and shifted his focus back to Alex. "That reminds me, Alex, I've been talking to the Bryersons."

Alex groaned. "Dad, not this again--"

"--Eleanor has been asking about you," he continued, almost as though he hadn't even heard Alex's protest. "She's really grown into a lovely young woman, Alex, I think it would do you some good to meet with her."

"I don't _want_ to meet with Eleanor, Dad," Alex said, though he was steadily losing his will to fight.

"Well, you haven't seen her since you two were seven years old, it could be nice to catch up with an old friend."

"The fact that I haven't seen her since I was seven kind of means we aren't _old friends_."

"Christopher!"

Alex looked just behind his dad and found his mom standing awkwardly in the middle of their living room, arms folded and jaw clenched. He didn't know how he hadn't noticed her standing there before. He'd never been so grateful for his mother before now, now that she'd interrupted this _incredibly uncomfortable_ talk with his father.

Christopher turned around and sighed. "Estelle?"

Estelle looked at Alex for a moment and Alex reared his head back in shock. She looked... _sad_. She looked back at Christopher and re-affixed her smile onto her face, ushering him towards the staircase. "You just got home from work," she said slowly. "Why don't you go upstairs and rest before dinner, hm? _Laisse Alex et son ami seuls pour le moment."_

Alex and Willie both watched as the two of them ascended up the staircase together. Alex was sure that his jaw would be on the floor by now if that were physically possible. Did his mother just... _help him_?

He felt Willie squeeze his hand and he looked over, tearing his eyes away from where his parents were no longer in sight. Willie's eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth set in a shallow frown. Alex wanted to rub at the wrinkles in his forehead until they went away. _Stress_ didn't look natural on him. 

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly. Alex breathed out quietly. He hadn't done that since seeing his father. 

"I... I'm confused and... and a little frustrated, but..." Alex nodded, squeezing Willie's hand right back, "I think so. I'm sorry about what my Dad said about your name." 

Willie rolled his eyes and tugged Alex just the tiniest bit forward by their joined hands. "I've heard worse." He peered just over Alex's shoulder and let out a quiet whistle. "When you said your parents were an acquired taste, you really weren't kidding."

Alex chuckled, but there was no humour in it. "Yeah..." he mumbled, "dinner is gonna be interesting."

He looked down at their still clasped hands and then around the living room. No one was around. No one was there to see their display of affection... so why was Willie still holding on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translations:  
> "Laisse Alex et son ami seuls pour le moment." - "Let's leave Alex and his friend alone for now."
> 
> ahhahahahhaha it's 7am! i may or may not have stayed up all night finishing/typing out this chapter but i was just TOO EXCITED TO SLEEP (also,,,i have readings to do and i wanted to do them this weekend and get this out of the way first so forgive me)
> 
> I HOPE Y'ALL ENJOYED THIS 👀 it might be one of my favourites I've written for this fic so far !! i'm gonna go to bed now fjdklsljs
> 
> comments and kudos are always appreciated!! thank you so much for the responses again they're so heartwarming to read 🥺 follow me on tumblr if u want @alexthedrummerboy!
> 
> okay GOODNIGHT/MORNING!! 
> 
> \- Brit


	6. Chapter 6

"What's Christmas usually like at your house?" Alex asked, eyes focusing and unfocusing on the ceiling.

It was a few hours after the living room debacle. Willie and Alex had since escaped to Alex's bedroom. Was it nerve-wracking to have Willie in his childhood bedroom? Yes, monumentally so. But, it was definitely preferable to staying in the living room, exposed to any and all of his family members.

Willie was standing by Alex's bookshelf, observing every book and knick-knack within reach. 

"Loud," Willie said, picking up a rubik's cube and twisting it around a few times. "My brother Trey and I would set up the downstairs and make it look like Santa had just come for my younger sisters." He smiled, fingers moving on their own accord as he solved Alex's rubik's cube. "When Harley got too old for Santa, we started inviting her to set up the milk and cookies and Santa's footprints with us."

The smile on Willie's face was so soft... Alex wasn't sure he'd ever heard anyone speak about their family with such tenderness before. The growing envy was quickly overshadowed by how _happy_ Willie looked. 

"Tell me more,” Alex said, sitting up until he was cross-legged in the centre of his bed. He could've listened to Willie talk for hours. 

Willie smiled brighter, putting the now-solved rubik's cube back on the shelf. "Okay," he said with a nod. "Um... every year we play this game called 'Rat Carrot'."

Alex raised an eyebrow. "'Rat Carrot'?"

Willie wrinkled his nose. "I know it sounds dumb," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's actually called 'Rudolph's Carrot' but when Harley was two, she couldn't pronounce Rudolph properly so... we just shortened it to Rat Carrot."

"That's adorable," Alex replied, returning Willie's grin. "How exactly do you play Rat Carrot?"

"Well, on Christmas eve, our parents would hide five baby carrots around the house. Each one had one of our names on it and if you find another sib's carrot, you can choose to hide it somewhere else, or you can give it to them. If you found yours first, you got the biggest piece of pie at Christmas dinner."

"What kind of Rat Carrot player were you?" Alex asked, picturing a tiny version of Willie, hair much too short and smile just as bright, scrambling to find a baby carrot anywhere he could reach. 

Willie smirked. "I got _really_ good at hiding baby carrots," he said, giggling so mischievously that Alex thought he could see the ghost of twelve-year-old Willie, sneakily hiding baby carrots and suppressing his giggles. "I always shared my slice of pie with my brother and sisters, though."

Alex laughed, plucking at his duvet as he tried to fight the quiet envy sneaking it's way into his chest. 

Christmas for Alex had always been a source of anxiety rather than anything else; the stress of buying presents, the awkward dinners, all the quiet jabs from his parents... suffice to say, Christmas wasn't Alex's favourite holiday.

"Christmas with your family sounds really fun," he replied finally. 

Willie bit his lip. "Yeah," he said. "I mean... if you need a place to go next Christmas, maybe you could come over and meet my family."

Alex huffed out a chuckle. "Like a tit-for-tat kinda thing?" he asked with a wan smile. "You get to be _my_ fake boyfriend this Christmas, and next year I get to be yours?"

Willie's smile dimmed into something softer... quieter. The searing look in his dark eyes made a breath catch in Alex's throat. "We could do something like that," Willie said, "if that's what you _really_ want."

Alex swallowed, mustering up a nervous smile. _He couldn't seem to look away from Willie's eyes._ "Well, I don't know," he said quietly. "A lot can change in a year."

Suddenly, the eight feet of space between them felt like less than one. Neither of them had moved, but there was a pulling sensation in Alex's chest that made him want to rush over and...

Then, Willie looked away, and the pulling sensation was gone. Alex breathed out quietly, trying to calm his warm face and racing heart. He snuck a peek at Willie and saw him analysing the framed pictures on his bookshelf. 

There were only three frames on the shelf; one of him, Harrison, and Noah, his high school graduation portrait, and... _oh, no._

"Is this you?" Willie asked, holding up an old picture in a silver frame. The picture in question was of him, Luke, Bobby, and Reggie all clad in matching marching band uniforms. "I had no idea you played the flute."

Alex's face turned bright red and he clambered off the bed, walking toward Willie at a slight hurried pace. "Yeah, well... I'm full of surprises, like you said," he replied sheepishly, wincing when he caught a glimpse of his 15-year-old self in the picture. He'd forgotten just how _scrawny_ he'd looked in his marching band uniform. He reached forward to grab it from Willie, raising his eyebrows when Willie held the picture back out of reach.

"Do you still have your uniform?" he asked, smiling so wide that the edges of his eyes began to crinkle. Alex was sure his cheeks were a delightful shade of red by now.

"I... maybe. It might be in my closet somewhere." _Shoved into a garbage bag and hidden away forever._ He made another lunge for the picture and groaned when Willie took another step back, mischief clear on his face. "Willie, give me the picture."

Willie raised an eyebrow in challenge. "Make me," he said, voice low and entirely too tantalising. 

Alex reached for the picture a third time, but he overextended. He lost his footing and fell forward, closing his eyes and bracing for impact. 

The first thing he felt was the unpleasant pain in his chest from getting the wind knocked out of him as he hit the floor. The second thing Alex noticed was that the floor felt... _softer_ than he'd expected. 

The floor also just so happened to smell like coconut shampoo and... lavender?

Wait.

Alex opened his eyes and found himself almost nose-to-nose with Willie, who had apparently broken his fall. His left arm was loosely curled around Alex's waist, a hand cupping the small of his back. Willie's other arm was sprawled out beside his head, bent at a slight angle. The picture frame was lying forgotten on the carpet, just out of reach. 

This was the second time within a _four hour_ time span that Alex had found himself close enough to guess what Willie's lips tasted like. 

Would they taste of coconut, too? Or maybe something entirely different?

Alex could feel Willie's thumb begin to move up and down. The fabric of his hoodie moved with it, sending a light, ticklish tingle up Alex's back. He swallowed and brought his hand up from Willie's chest (when had it gotten there?), wrapping it loosely around Willie's right wrist. 

He couldn't handle the way Willie was looking at him.

Alex's eyes fluttered shut. He was sure Willie could feel how fast his heart was racing. He didn't expect Willie was in the most comfortable position; lying on the hardwood floor of Alex's childhood bedroom with 155 pounds of _boy_ pressed on top of him... but Willie wasn't complaining. In fact, he wasn't saying anything.

"Alex," Willie whispered, his left hand slowly moving toward Alex's hip. 

"Hm?" Alex hummed, eyes still shut.

"If it's all the same to you," he murmured, and Alex could feel the fabric of his hoodie rustle as Willie gripped it then let go repeatedly, "I don't think I want you to be my fake boyfriend next Christmas."

Alex opened his eyes finally. Willie was still staring up at him, his long brown hair fanned out on either side of his head like a halo. "No?" he managed to say.

Willie just shook his head, the corner of his mouth inching upward. "No."

"Are you breaking up with me?" Alex joked, though his voice was shaking.

Willie laughed; Alex could feel his chest move. "No, Alex," he said. Alex thought his heart would _burst_ at any moment. 

He wasn't sure who made the first move; if he dipped his head down to meet Willie's, or if Willie reached up... but he supposed that didn't matter much...

Not when Willie's lips were soft and warm against his own. Alex had been wrong; Willie's lips didn't taste like coconut. They were a completely different flavour Alex couldn't even begin to place, all he knew was that he craved _more_. 

He inhaled sharply when Willie dragged his hand up to cup the back of Alex's neck, pulling him closer, closer, _closer._ Alex's hand slid upwards from Willie's wrist until he was lacing their fingers together. 

Willie pulled away first, but he didn't go far. He was beaming; Alex couldn't help but grin back, leaning down and pressing another chaste kiss to Willie's lips.

Kissing Willie was nothing short of ethereal. Alex would've given up everything to stay like this forever, wrapped in Willie's arms, staring down at that smile... but the world was cruel and unjust. 

Neither of them noticed the door opening until the sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted them.

Alex's eyes widened and he scrambled off of Willie, accidentally kneeing him in the thigh in the process. His heart rate slowed when he saw it was only Noah standing at the door, eyebrows raised and a shit-eating grin on his face. "What do you want?" Alex asked, voice cracking.

Noah's eyes darted between Alex and Willie. "Uh... Mom told me to come tell you guys that dinner's ready."

Alex looked at the clock. _7:30 already?_ He clenched his jaw and nodded. Suddenly, all the euphoria he'd previously felt escaped, deflating like the world's saddest balloon animal. He nodded at Noah. "Okay," he said, forcing a small smile. "We'll be down in a sec."

Noah nodded back, his self-satisfied smile faltering. "Do you want me to tell them to start without you guys?"

"No! No, it's fine," Alex replied quickly. He shuddered to think about what conclusions his parents would inevitably come to. "We'll come down."

Noah nodded and gave them one last look before stomping down the stairs, leaving Willie and Alex alone, the air in the room disturbed. 

Alex finally looked over at Willie for the first time since they'd broken apart. Willie was sat cross-legged, picking at a loose thread on his sock. The small smile on his lips made Alex relax just the tiniest bit.

His eyes landed on the picture frame lying between them and he picked it up, standing up and placing it on top of his dresser. His fingers were shaking so hard he had to stuff them into his pockets. 

"Hungry?" Alex asked, breathing in shakily when Willie met his gaze. He couldn't help the way his eyes darted down to Willie's gently kiss-swollen lips. _They'd kissed..._ he hadn't made that up, right?

Willie stood up and nodded, sauntering towards Alex. He reached forward and cupped his cheek, pulling Alex's head forward into another chaste, yet _perfect_ kiss. 

So, he _hadn't_ made it up, Alex supposed.

Before he could reciprocate, the touch was gone and Willie stepped away, hand lingering for a moment longer before falling away, leaving a warm imprint on Alex's cheek. 

"Yeah," Willie murmured, "I could eat." His pupils were blown and his hair mussed. Suddenly, Alex was hungry too.

"We should head downstairs then," he said, biting on his bottom lip. "Maybe after, we can... talk?"

Willie nodded, smiling brightly. Alex would never be able to understand how he could go from enticing to _adorable_ in all of one second.

They walked out of Alex's room together, knuckles brushing. Alex's heart was pounding a mile a minute in his chest; whether that was because of the kiss or because of the anticipation of dinner with his parents, though, he wasn't entirely sure.

* * *

The sound of cutlery scraping against porcelain was one of Alex's least favourite sounds. It reminded him too much of endlessly awkward family dinners... dinners just like this one.

No one had said a word in five whole minutes. Harrison had _tried,_ bless him, but... it turned out that first-year medical student facts did not make for pleasant dinner conversation. 

Alex poked at his piece of fish and shovelled a small bite into his mouth, making eye contact with Willie who was sitting across from him. Willie threw him a small, encouraging smile. 

"So, Alex," Christopher said, looking at Alex for the first time since dinner had started. "How's school going?"

Alex shuffled uncomfortably. "It's fine."

"Mm... and how are you finding those economics courses we discussed?"

 _Oh, God._ "Well, I... I took one this semester," he said slowly. "It was fine."

Christopher's hands froze, fork hovering over his plate. "One?" he repeated. "What about the others?"

Alex sighed. "Dad, I never agreed to those--"

"--Alex, I'm not paying for you to get a degree in some... hippie-dippy subject like English or, God forbid, _art._ " He spat out the word like it had personally offended him. 

Willie cleared his throat and put his fork down. "I-I'm actually studying art." The moment Willie started speaking, Alex's whole body tensed. _No, get out while you can._

Christopher scoffed. "My point exactly," he said, gesturing vaguely with his knife. "You need to be practical, Alexander. Who's going to hire an English major, _really_ _?"_

"Actually, there are plenty of opportunities for English majors like Alex, sir," Willie interrupted, looking scarily serene. "English is more versatile a subject than you might think. And, with all due respect, shouldn't you care more about your son studying something he enjoys?" 

"Are you telling me how to raise my son?" Christopher asked lowly. Alex had heard this tone of voice from his father before; it made him shiver, but it seemed to have no effect on Willie. That same smile remained clear as day on his cheeks.

"Your son is 18, Mr. Mercer, I don't think you have to 'raise' him anymore." Willie's eyes sparkled roguishly. Alex wanted nothing more than to launch himself across the table and kiss him silly. He could hear Noah choke back a snicker beside him.

Estelle cleared her throat then, cutting Christopher and Willie's argument _thankfully_ short. "Alex," she said, turning towards him. "How are your friends doing? Luke, Reggie, and Bobby?" she asked. "The house is... certainly quieter without the four of you around."

Alex narrowed his eyes in distrust. "You've never asked about the guys before," he said slowly. "You hated having them over."

Estelle pursed her lips. "I didn't hate them. The noise wasn't my _favourite_ thing, but--"

"--No, you hated them. Both of you did," Alex sat up, something red-hot coursing through his veins. "When I told you guys we were all moving to L.A. together, you almost locked me up in my room like I was friggin' _Rapunzel!"  
_

"Alex, I just..." Estelle sighed and placed her napkin on the table. "I-I _care_ about your happiness!"

"That's _bullshit!"_ Alex exclaimed, throwing his fork down on his plate. "You've never cared about my happiness before, and definitely not when my happiness was an inconvenience for you!"

"Alex!" His father's booming voice silenced him. His hands were shaking and his eyes were growing familiarly hot. "I don't know _what_ has gotten into you..." he tossed a sharp look in Willie's direction, "...but you need to show us some respect."

Alex clenched his jaw and slumped back in his chair, all the energy draining out of his body.

He looked down at his lap, feeling the familiar tightness in his chest begin to grow as the sounds of his parents voices faded into the background. Alex tightened his hands into fists and tried to focus on the press of his nail into the palm of his hand. 

Then, _just_ as Alex felt ready to fall off the edge, he felt a foot gently tap his leg. He looked up and locked eyes with Willie, feeling the light, yet soothing press of his shoe against his ankle. The touch was barely there, but it made Alex feel slightly more... tethered.

He smiled at Willie, hoping it was enough. He wasn't sure how else he could show his gratitude. 

Estelle stood up, drawing Alex's eye away from him and onto her. "Well, if everyone's done with dinner, I'll go get dessert." 

Dessert.

Alex sucked on his teeth and sat back in his seat, staring wordlessly at his plate. He could feel several pairs of eyes on him, but he didn't bother to look up.

Estelle disappeared into the kitchen for a moment and re-emerged with a strangely timid smile on her face. She was holding Alex's grandmother's crystal cake stand, a perfectly piped and baked stack of meringue, cream, and fruit sitting primly on top. 

The pavlova.

Alex watched as his mother cut it into six even slices, his nausea only growing worse when she placed a slice in front of him. He didn't even have to look at Harrison to imagine the guilty look on his face.

"The pavlova looks different this year," Christopher said, piercing a chunk of meringue with his fork.

"Uh... that might be 'cause Mom and I made it this year," Harrison said, poking a peach segment and hurriedly putting it into his mouth.

Christopher looked at Alex, then at Harrison before taking a bite, chewing thoughtfully for a moment. "It's good, son."

_It's good, son._

His Dad had never complimented the pavlova before; not once in the ten years in a _row_ that Alex had made it. 

Those three, simple words were what did it. 

Alex threw his napkin on his plate, covering his untouched dessert. He pushed his chair back, barely registering the unpleasant squeak of chair legs against the wooden floor. 

"I'm full," he mumbled as he walked out of the dining room.

No one tried to stop him, so he kept on walking until he reached his room, not bothering to close the door behind him as he flopped stomach-first onto the bed. He didn't cry. Oddly enough, he didn't feel like he needed to; he was just _exhausted._

He heard quiet footsteps approaching and he sighed, smiling softly as he pushed himself up and sat at the foot of his bed. Willie was leaning against his doorjamb, arms crossed.

"Why aren't you downstairs enjoying Harrison's pavlova?" Alex asked, eyes tracking Willie as he walked forward and sat next to him. 

"I've always been more of a cheesecake guy," he said with a smirk. He softened and nudged Alex's shoulder with his own. "You okay?"

Alex sighed, searching his brain for a truthful answer. "I'm... tired," he said, shaking his head, "but that's not exactly new." He paused, smiling at Willie sincerely. "Thank you for what you said earlier. For standing up for me in front of my Dad."

Willie grinned. "Of course," he said, leaning back on his palms. "What kind of fake boyfriend would I be if I didn't?" He leaned into the word 'fake' teasingly, shooting Alex a wink that made him blush all the way up to his roots.

"Right."

They sat there for a moment longer just _looking_ at one another, neither of them saying a word. 

Alex bit his lip, almost as though he was trying to recreate the feeling of having Willie's mouth pressed against his own. 

"Well," Willie said softly, the smile on his lips turning softer... _sadder_. "I think I'm gonna go take a shower." 

Alex raised his eyebrows. "Oh!" he said, hoping his disappointment didn't show too clearly. He'd expected... well, he guessed that didn't matter now. "Okay. Um, spare towels are in the cupboard by the bathroom door." 

Willie nodded and stood up, stuffing his hands into his pockets and giving Alex one last undecipherable look. "Goodnight, Alex."

And then he was gone, closing the door behind him and leaving Alex behind with nothing but a dip in the bed from where he'd been sitting.

* * *

Willie spent fifteen minutes in the shower, standing under the hot spray as he let his mind wander. This had felt like the longest day of his _life._

He sighed and turned the water off, staring at himself in the mirror as he toweled himself dry. His lips were still tingling from earlier when Alex had kissed him. Or maybe _he'd_ kissed Alex; he couldn't be sure. 

Willie's hand curled into a fist as he remembered the way Alex's fingers had locked around his own. A bright grin snuck onto his face and he ducked his head. His cheeks were flushed, and Willie _knew_ he couldn't blame that on the warm steam from his shower. 

Dinner had been... uncomfortable, to put things lightly. Willie had always thought people like Alex's parents only existed in sad movies and cliched TV shows. He supposed he was incredibly privileged to be able to think that way. 

As he pulled on his pyjama shorts and brushed his fingers through his damp hair, his eyes slipped shut as the awful, paranoid thoughts began creeping into his head. 

What if this was all part of it? Part of the getting back at his parents? Would Alex do that? Willie didn't think he would, didn't think Alex was capable of being anything other than wholly genuine... but how much did they know about one another, really?

Willie sighed, rubbing his drying face and letting out a quiet groan. Sometimes, he really hated _thinking._

It was only when he reached for the doorknob when an issue came to mind.

He hadn't brought a shirt to sleep in. 

Back home and at Caleb's, Willie had grown so used to going to bed in just his boxers - sometimes a pair of flannel pyjama pants when the harsh Thunder Bay winter chill would settle in. After all, Willie had always ran hot, so sleeping in various states of undress just felt normal. 

But now, standing in the middle of the Mercer family's bathroom, half-naked after a less than cordial dinner felt... inappropriate. 

Willie took a deep breath before opening the bathroom door just enough to poke his head out and check that the coast was clear before hastily retreating to Alex's room. 

He knocked on the door and wrapped his arms tightly around his torso, looking around the empty hallway.

Alex opened the door and raised his eyebrows. Willie couldn't help but take notice of the way his eyes darted downwards towards his exposed chest. Suddenly, he forgot about his panic for a moment and smirked.

"Wh-why are... I..." Alex stammered, gripping the edge of his door tightly. "Why are you shirtless in the middle of my hallway?"

"Uh... I don't usually sleep with a shirt on," Willie explained quietly, "but it just now occurred to me that being half-naked in the same house as your parents who hate me isn't the best idea, so... can I borrow a shirt?"

Alex's tongue darted out to lick his lower lip and Willie's eyes followed. His green irises were barely visible around his darkened, blown pupils. 

It would take no effort at all to lean in and just...

"I... yeah! Yeah, sure, just..." Alex took a step back and waved Willie inside. "Just get inside before someone sees."

Willie stepped into Alex's room and watched him carefully as he threw open his dresser drawer, the sight of those flushed cheeks and dark eyes still sitting on the forefront of Willie's mind. 

"Sorry," he said after a few seconds of silence. "Bringing clothes to sleep in just slipped my mind completely."

Alex shook his head as he rifled through the shirts in his drawer. "Don't apologize, it's... I get it," he said, pulling out a soft-looking, Heather grey t-shirt and holding it out towards Willie. He kept his eyes down and shoulders tense. Willie's eyes zeroed in on the flush creeping up the side of Alex's pale neck. It took all of his self control not to lean in and peck the gently warming skin.

Willie raised his eyebrows and stepped forward. He gripped the shirt, taking care to cover Alex's fingers with his own. 

He wasn't sure of a lot of things right now, but what he _was_ sure about was that Willie really, _really_ liked Alex. And here he was, right in front of him, looking so adorably flustered...

How could Willie resist?

He clasped his other hand around Alex's and pulled him closer, prompting him to look up.

"Hey," Willie said, smiling when the corner of Alex's lips perked up. 

This time, there was no denying it. Alex surged forward first, closing the distance between them and connecting their lips with a sharp inhale. Willie felt him wrap an arm around his bare waist, tugging him closer. His hands were cold against Willie's skin, but he didn't mind one bit. It was almost a welcome juxtaposition from how warm he was usually. Willie's hands and the hand gripping Alex's shirt were pressed between them; Willie was holding onto the shirt for dear life as his lips grazed Alex's teeth. 

Alex breathed out of his nose, the puff of air tickling Willie's cheek. He smiled against Alex's lips and brushed his thumb against the back of his hand. 

He pulled away after a few more blissful seconds but kept their faces close, brushing the tips of their noses together. A slow grin grew on Willie's face as he nuzzled his nose against Alex's. "You call that a goodnight kiss?" he murmured, lips brushing against Alex's teasingly. 

Alex chuckled, short gusts of breath tickling Willie's chin. He let go of the shirt and dropped his other hand from Willie's waist. "Put the shirt on, Weirdo," he said, smirking. "Aren't you cold?"

Willie smiled and tugged the shirt over his head. He _might've_ taken his time slipping it on over his chest and arms. He looked at Alex when he finally smoothed the fabric over his torso, giggling when he saw Alex's eyes brazenly looking downwards instead of at Willie's face. "Canadian, remember?" he said with a shrug. "Californian winters are child's play."

Alex's eyes never strayed from Willie's chest even after he covered it up, a captivating smile on his lips. Willie smiled, too.

"What?"

"You look good in my shirt."

Willie looked down at read the text on the front of the shirt. It read: ' _Mira Loma High School Marching Band'_ in varsity-style script. Willie brushed his thumb against the letters. He could feel his cheeks begin to heat up. He was so used to being the one making Alex blush, he didn't really know how to react when the roles were reversed.

"I might have to keep it then," Willie said. He wanted to say so much more, but he just... couldn't. The words were all scrambled together in his brain, making his thoughts impossible to decipher. 

Alex laughed. "It looks better on you anyway." He stuffed his hands into his hoodie pocket and took a step toward Willie. "So, I was thinking..."

"Uh-oh."

Alex gave an incredulous look but kept going regardless. "I was thinking... maybe tomorrow I could show you around Sacramento? I'd love to introduce you to a couple places."

"On Christmas day?" Willie asked, eyebrows raised. "Will anything be open?"

"I know a couple places," Alex replied, bouncing nervously on the balls of his feet. "We'd have to be back around 4 but that should be plenty of time."

Willie grinned. Honestly, he couldn't think of a single thing he would rather do than spend the day with Alex. "That sounds like fun," he said. A question bubbled up in his chest, rising to the surface before he could stop it. "Would this be like... a date?"

Alex's eyes widened. "I-I mean... I think I'd like it to be."

Willie reached forward and took hold of Alex's hand, squeezing it gently. He didn't think he would ever get tired of the electricity that sparked up his arms and chest whenever they touched. 

"Me, too."

The grin Willie received in return was blinding; it was better than any Christmas gift he could've ever hoped to receive. 

"Okay," Alex said, voice barely above a whisper. His thumb moved across Willie's knuckles, sending a flutter through his whole body. "Goodnight, Willie."

"Night, Sunshine."

Willie reluctantly let go of Alex's hand and walked out of his room. Once he heard the soft 'click' of Alex's door closing, he grinned and silently fist-bumped himself. 

He was practically floating during the short walk to the guest room. But all of that came crashing down quickly when he passed Estelle in the kitchen. Most of the lights were off but one, right above her. She was sat at the breakfast bar, a steaming mug of tea in front of her, leaning on her elbow and holding her forehead up with her left hand. 

Willie slowly raised his eyebrows when he noticed... there was no ring around her finger. There was a subtle tan line around the base of her ring finger that Willie had never noticed before. 

Just looking at her felt like an intrusion.

He wasn't sure why he did it; maybe it was because she just looked so _sad -_ and Willie was nothing if not empathetic to a fault.

"Mrs. Mercer?" Willie asked, taking a slow step forward. He felt like a zookeeper approaching a timid, wounded animal. "Are you okay?"

Estelle looked up and dropped her hand, slipping it under her right. The movement was so fluid, so automatic that it looked to Willie like something she did often.

She forced a tight smile and nodded. "I'm fine," she said, voice mimicking her tense posture. "I have a headache, that's all." Her eyes slipped down to Willie's shirt and she blinked. "You're wearing Alex's old band shirt."

Willie nodded. Suddenly, he wondered if staying shirtless would've been preferable. "H-He lent it to me. I forgot to bring a pyjama shirt, so..."

Estelle nodded, eyes softening as she looked at the letters on Willie's chest. She looked so... young; so _tired._ Nothing like the woman Willie had met that afternoon. "I see," she said curtly. She looked away then, eyes suspiciously shiny. "What are your parents like, Willie?"

Out of all the things Willie expected Estelle to say to him, that might've been at the very bottom of his list. "My parents?" Willie repeated. At Estelle's answering nod, he reluctantly kept going. "Uh... they're great, I guess. They care about me a lot." Every word he said felt like the wrong one as he watched Estelle's eyebrows furrow. 

"They were supportive, then?" she asked. "Of you... your..." she trailed off, but Willie understood. 

He nodded silently. 

"When Alex told me he was..." Estelle breathed in sharply, "Christopher and I didn't react well. I thought he was doing it to spite me; Alex has always been more rebellious and... defiant than his brothers."

Willie didn't know how to respond, so he didn't. He let Estelle keep going - though his brain latched onto one word in particular. _Rebellious._

"I tried to ignore it. For _years_ , I tried to pretend that he wasn't... gay." She didn't spit the word out like Willie expected her to; she said it softly, feeling out the letters like a toddler learning how to say a new word for the first time.

"Being gay is a part of Alex, Mrs. Mercer," Willie barely managed to say, "it's not really something you can ignore."

"I know," Estelle sighed, wrapping her hands around her mug. Willie couldn't help but glance at her bare ring finger again. "I'm realising that now." She looked at him suddenly with those wearied eyes. "When he told me he was bringing you, I thought..."

"What?"

She laughed, but there was no humour in it. "I thought he was trying to get a rise out of me on purpose - he used to do that all the time when he was little. Play jokes and funny little pranks." Estelle sipped her tea slowly. "And then he actually brought you and I-I suppose I stopped being able to ignore his..."

"His gayness?" Willie asked dryly.

Estelle shifted, but not uncomfortably so. "I was trying to find a more tactful word, but yes." She sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose before standing up. "I should head to bed. This day has been rather long." She paused and walked in front of the breakfast bar, stopping just a few feet short of Willie. "Goodnight, Willie."

Willie nodded silently. He didn't trust himself to speak, he just watched Estelle slowly walk up the stairs until she disappeared entirely.

He let out a breath and walked to his room on shaky legs, closing the door behind him tightly. Suddenly, his paranoid thoughts from earlier in the evening came rushing back full force. 

_I thought he was doing it to spite me_

_Alex has always been more rebellious and... defiant than his brothers._

_He used to do that all the time when he was little. Play jokes and funny little pranks._

Jokes and pranks. 

Suddenly, Willie's skin burned everywhere Alex's shirt was touching. He tugged at the hem of it and walked towards the bed, tying his hair into a loose ponytail. 

When he turned on the lamp by the bed, a shiny glint on the nightstand caught Willie's eye.

Sitting there, clear as day on the little wooden nightstand was a silver wedding ring and an engagement band.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *tiktok audio* hey,,,,how yall doin? :D
> 
> that convo with christopher and willie was literally just me playing my english major ass 😔 
> 
> I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG i've been busy with school and also with just doing general Life Things -- i'm finally out of my two week quarantine period so i've been going out and doing things like WALKING and GROCERY SHOPPING so that's been super fun!! but i'm glad i finally finished this and got to update :')
> 
> I have the next chapter planned so fingers fkn crossed that it doesn't take too long to write. Thank u so much for reading!! comments and kudos are always appreciated!! 
> 
> MWAH  
> \- brit xx


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING SO PATIENT I KNOW IT'S BEEN A MINUTE
> 
> also before u start reading, just know: reggie's mom is a milf (also: jewish reggie supremacy)
> 
> okay enjoy almost 10,000 of Screaming!

Willie had always been an early riser. At home it had never been a problem; he’d get out of bed at 7:30, get dressed, work out, and then he’d start making breakfast for himself and Caleb. Here, though... he couldn’t exactly walk into the kitchen and start rifling through the cupboards for eggs and orange juice. He couldn’t see that going down very well.

He groaned and turned onto his side, his eyes falling onto the nightstand beside his bed where Estelle's wedding ring and engagement band sat, untouched from where he'd found it last night. His mind flashed to his uncomfortably intense conversation with Estelle; to her bare ring finger.

This hadn't been what he'd expected when Willie had volunteered to be Alex's fake boyfriend for the holidays. 

He paused. That was an interesting word; 'fake'. Things between him and Alex certainly didn't feel _fake_ anymore, especially not after last night... but how much of last night had been real?

Willie sighed and shut his eyes. If he focused hard enough, he could almost feel the phantom touch of Alex's lips against his own. The thought made the corner of his lip perk up slightly - but not for long.

He grabbed his phone off the nightstand, eyeing the rings before dialling a familiar number. Willie stared up at the ceiling as he listened to the phone ring. _Once, twice, three times..._

"Hello? William?"

The familiar sound of Caleb's voice automatically made his heart rate relax just a touch and Willie closed his eyes. "Hey, Uncle Caleb." 

Willie heard the sounds of quiet fabric rustling and chatter in the background briefly before Caleb spoke again. "Is everything alright?" he asked, voice laced with concern.

"I... yeah, I'm chill," Willie replied. "I just missed you, I guess. Merry Christmas."

Caleb paused. "I miss you too, kiddo," he said quietly. "Merry Christmas. Are you sure you're okay?"

Willie hesitated, nibbling on the corner of his lip. "I don't know," he said finally. "I'm kind of... confused."

"About what?"

Willie sighed, holding onto the hem of Alex's shirt. "You remember when you called me yesterday? I mentioned Alex?"

Caleb hummed slowly. "Ah, yes, the... _friend_ you're staying with." He emphasized the word 'friend' in a way that made Willie's face warm up. He opened his eyes. 

"Yeah, him." Willie hesitated. "I think I might... really like him."

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

"Do you know if he feels the same way?"

The question gave Willie pause. Before his talk with Estelle, the answer to that question would've been an emphatic 'yes'... but now he wasn't so sure.

"I don't know," Willie replied quietly, lips tingling with the memory of their kiss (... multiple kisses) from last night. "Maybe? I thought he did, but now I'm not so sure."

"Well, would you like my advice?" Caleb asked. 

Willie nodded before remembering that Caleb couldn't see him. "Yes, please."

"If you really like this boy, it wouldn't hurt to _show_ him just how... wonderful you are," Caleb suggested - Willie could practically hear the mischievous smile in his voice. "Show off your feathers a bit, as it were."

Willie giggled, imagining himself as a peacock, showing off his feathers for Alex. "So, what, you're suggesting that I... woo him?"

"In a way," Caleb said, voice softening. "If this boy has any sense, he'll realize what a catch you are."

Willie sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "Right. Thanks, Unc."

"Of course." Caleb paused; Willie could hear him quietly say something to someone before he came back. "Okay, I've gotta go rehearse for my show tonight, but I'll call you when I have a minute, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," Willie replied. "Thanks for the advice."

"Anytime, William. I love you; Merry Christmas."

After Caleb hung up, Willie let his phone drop down onto his pillow, his uncle's words quietly replaying over and over again in his head. _If he has any sense, he'll realize what a catch you are._ Willie hummed to himself. One could only hope. He sighed and threw off the covers before getting out of bed, pulling at the hem of Alex's shirt all the while.

Willie paused and tugged at Alex's shirt, worrying the fabric between his thumb and index finger. He turned his head to the side and buried his nose in his shoulder. The shirt smelled lightly of laundry detergent and citrus - the smell filled Willie's nose, swirling around inside his head like a tornado of confusing, conflicting emotions. He knew he was only a few stairs and doors away, but for some reason Alex had never felt quite so far away before.

He grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste and began making his way to the bathroom. The house was still and eerily quiet as Willie padded through the hallway. He kept his eyes down on the carpet as he walked, tracing the small specks of white hidden in the cream wool. The hallway was thankfully clear when Willie reached the bathroom. He quickly ducked inside and shut the door, resting his toiletries on the countertop. 

He looked at his reflection for a moment, glaring at his hair that had become a tangled mess around his hair tie after tossing and turning all night. Willie winced as he pulled the hair tie out, shaking out his messy locks and raking his fingers through it roughly, trying to smooth out the tangles. _He looked like a mess._

After he brushed his teeth and made himself look slightly more presentable, he opened the door, almost jumping a foot in the air when he saw a person standing on the other side. His heart slowed when he saw it was only Alex - but after looking at him _properly_ it only sped back up. 

Alex was in a bleach-dyed shirt with the words ' _Sunset Curve'_ on the front and a pair of flannel pyjama pants. His hair was... fluffy and disheveled from hours of sleep. He was smiling shyly, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Morning," Alex mumbled, voice low and gruff. Willie was a _goner._

"Morning," he replied, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his shorts. He stepped out of the bathroom and stood next to Alex in the hallway, leaning his shoulder against the wall. "You're up early."

Alex shrugged. "Couldn't sleep." He looked Willie up and own. "You?"

"I've always been more of a morning person," Willie explained with a small smile. 

Alex nodded, the both of them falling silent. There was a growing smile on Alex's face, his cheeks rounding out pleasantly. He looked so _goddamn_ cute, Willie couldn't resist. He reached out tentatively and brushed his hand against Alex's before lacing their fingers together. Willie could feel warmth growing on his cheeks, but he couldn't find it in himself to care - not when Alex was blushing too.

The silence that hung between them was... awkward to say the least. Willie searched for something, _anything_ to say as he watched Alex nervously tug at the cross hanging around his neck. "So, what's on the agenda for today?"

Alex's eyes lit up. "Well, they're not really concrete plans but you remember my roommate, Reggie?"

Willie nodded, thinking back to the previous morning. "Yeah. He's in your band, right?"

"Mhm," he hummed. "I wanna take you to his Mom's cafe for lunch. They have awesome sandwiches."

"It's Christmas day. Will it be open?"

"Yeah! The guys and I have been going there every Christmas since I..." Alex trailed off, voice growing quiet. "Since um... I came out."

Willie raised his eyebrows and squeezed Alex's hand. "Yeah?"

Alex nodded. The smile on his face fell just a bit, turning into something almost bittersweet. "Yeah." He cleared his throat and looked behind him before turning back to face Willie. "I used to go to church with my family every Christmas day and then we'd all get lunch together... but the year I came out, no one um... no one woke me."

Willie's heart cracked in his chest, looking into the soft green of Alex's eyes. "Oh, Alex," he whispered.

Alex shrugged. "I woke up and everyone had already left for mid-morning service without me." He looked away, focusing on one of the pictures hanging on the wall. "I ended up calling the guys and told them what happened and we went to Reggie's mom's place to celebrate ourselves."

Willie thought back to the Christmas after he came out - how his dad had kissed the crown of his head and handed him a present cack-handedly wrapped in rainbow wrapping paper; how his mom had hugged him _extra_ tightly and let him take the largest piece of pie (despite not winning the Rat Carrot crown that year).

Then, he thought about a teenaged Alex, alone in an almost cavernous house, surrounded by ornaments and family relics, but no one to share them with. Willie's heart broke all over again.

"I'm sorry, Alex," he whispered, tugging lightly on his hand. 

Alex shrugged, giving Willie a dim smile. "I mean, it is what it is. Hanging out with the guys was a lot more fun than going to church anyways." Despite his words, there was something in Alex's voice that sounded so wistful, so... _sad_. 

"Well, sometimes the traditions we make ourselves can be better," Willie suggested.

Alex nodded and looked down at their hands once again, squeezing Willie back lightly - just once. "Yeah," he replied, offering Willie a smile. "It's nice that I get to make new traditions and memories with..." -- he paused, biting his lip -- "...with, um, people I care about."

Willie grinned. "Yeah. Exactly." He turned and rested his back against the wall, nodding his head towards the door. "Um... I'm done with the bathroom, so it's all yours."

"Okay." Alex hesitated, licking his lips before letting go of Willie's hand and walking into the bathroom.

As soon as Alex closed the door, Willie let out a slow breath, his heart pounding about a mile a minute in his chest. He wasn't sure when simply being near Alex became so energizing, but now somehow, he found that he just couldn't control his racing heart. He stared up at the ceiling as he listened to the quiet sound of rushing water. Once again, he thought about Caleb's advice, a slow smile forming on his lips.

The sounds of the tap stopped and Willie turned when the bathroom door opened abruptly. Alex stepped out of the bathroom, face slightly pink and damp. He looked at Willie and smiled, eyes bright.

"That was fa--"

Before Willie could finish his sentence, he felt a pair of hands on his waist, pushing him into the wall as Alex crowded him against it. Alex was pressed flush against his chest when their lips met. He tasted like sharp spearmint toothpaste and cold water. Willie's eyes fluttered shut as he gripped Alex's biceps, appreciating their steady strength. Willie breathed out sharply and pulled Alex closer, relishing in the way the just _fit_ so perfectly together. He felt Alex's teeth lightly graze his lower lip, sending a shock up his spine. 

There was something incredibly invigorating about kissing Alex in the middle of the hallway, flanked by still, smiling faces from family pictures, where anyone could catch them. It made Willie's blood run hot through his veins.

At any moment, one of Alex's family members could open their bedroom doors and find them, pressed together so close it was hard to tell whose limbs were whose. Anyone including Alex's parents. 

His parents.

Suddenly, a flash of Estelle's face from last night and that _stupid_ tan line around her ring finger flashed through Willie's mind. He pulled away from Alex, the sound of their parting lips echoing through the empty hall. Alex's eyes opened and his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"What?" he asked, eyes wide. "Was that... did I do something wrong?"

Willie shook his head, pursing his lips and looking down at Alex's collarbone peeking out from the neck of his t-shirt. "N-no, it wasn't... you didn't do anything wrong," he said quietly. "Trust me, that was _awesome_ , I just..." he trailed off, sliding his hands down from Alex's biceps to gently cup his elbows. 

Alex tilted his head towards Willie, tentatively raising one hand to cup Willie's face. His hand was cold against his cheek, wiping any of Willie's residual morning sleepiness away. "Are you okay?"

Willie sighed, leaning into Alex's hand and focusing on the way his rough, callused palm felt against his skin. "Something happened last night that--"

Then, the hand on his cheek was gone as the both of them heard the sound of a door opening down the hall. Alex took a small step back, leaving Willie cold everywhere he'd previously been pressed against.

Both of them turned to look down the hall, Willie's shoulders relaxing when he saw Harrison quietly shuffling out of his room, eyes half-shut and hair unkempt. He was in a pair of sweatpants and an oversized UC Davis sweatshirt that hung over his palms, only revealing the tips of his fingers. 

The moment he saw the two of them standing outside the bathroom, he smiled sheepishly, rubbing his eyes. "Um... good morning," Harrison said, pushing his hair back. "Is the bathroom free?"

"Yeah," Willie said, and just like that the moment was gone. _He would tell Alex about Estelle later._ "It's all yours."

Harrison nodded and pushed his sleeves up to his elbows. "Cool. Thanks, man." He hesitated before holding out his palm. His smile softened, turning into something more _genuine._ "Sorry, I never got the chance to introduce myself properly yesterday. I'm Harrison."

Willie nodded, shaking Harrison's hand firmly. "All good. Yesterday was a little hectic," he replied. "I'm Willie."

Harrison nodded, his shoulders relaxing just a touch. "It's really nice to meet you." He dropped Willie's hand and looked between the two of them, tapping his thighs awkwardly. "Well, uh... I've gotta get ready and wake Noah for... for..." his smile faded and he looked at Alex, expression lightly panicked, "for... y'know. Um, Willie, if you ever wanna know what little Lexi was like in high school, all you gotta do is ask." 

Alex groaned, his cheeks stained gently pink. "Don't call me that!" he protested. "Go brush your teeth - your breath stinks."

Harrison cackled before disappearing into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him. Alex shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair. "Sorry," he mumbled. "He's... don't listen to anything he says. He was dropped on his head when he was born."

Willie giggled, softening at the embarrassed flush on Alex's cheeks. "Okay," he said with a smirk, " _little Lexi."_

Alex groaned and jutted out his lower lip in a pout, making Willie laugh harder at the sight. "That's rude. You're supposed to be on my side as my--" Alex cut himself off, eyes widening almost comically.

Willie raised his eyebrows. "As your... what?"

Alex swallowed, breaking eye contact to look down at his slippers. "As my, um..." -- he looked back up and shrugged, an odd smile on his face -- " _Willie_."

"Am I _your_ Willie now?" he retaliated quietly, smirking widely. Alex wrinkled his nose.

"You know what I mean," he replied. Willie's gaze flickered between his left and right eyes. If he concentrated hard enough, he might've been able to count every single lash. 

"Mm," Willie hummed in response, though his mind and heart were both left reeling. They hadn't really talked about yesterday - not properly. He supposed that was what their date was for. 

After a moment, Alex cleared his throat and smiled sheepishly, taking another miniscule step back. "I'm gonna head back to my room before my folks wake up."

Willie nodded, automatically gripping the crook of his elbow. "For sure. Uh... what time are we--"

"--oh! Like 11ish, maybe?" Alex said. "After everyone leaves." 

"11. Got it." He unstuck himself from the wall and tilted his head to the side. "I guess I'll just... hide out in guest room until I hear your family leave."

"Yeah. I mean, that's what I usually do." Alex bit his lip and tugged on his chain again. "They usually leave for service a little early, but Noah _always_ forgets something and they always end up coming back and I just..."

"It's complicated," Willie finished for him, eyebrows knitting together gently. "I get it." 

Alex nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. He was looking at Willie, eyes so soft and shiny that Willie wanted nothing more than to pull him in for another kiss all over again. Then, the corner of his lips perked up slightly and Alex smiled. "You're unreal, you know?" he said quietly. 

Willie raised his eyebrows. "Unreal?" he repeated with a low chuckle. "What does that mean?"

"Nothing," Alex replied with a shrug. "Just... I feel really lucky to have met you. That's all."

Willie couldn't resist then. He leaned in and pecked Alex on the lips - it was chaste and innocent, just a quick, simple press... but Willie _swore_ he felt a spark run through his body all the way down to his feet. "So do I." 

Alex nodded, practically beaming. He didn't say anything else - didn't _have_ to, really. Instead he just gave Willie a small wave before walking back to his room, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his pyjama pants and head bowed. Willie watched him for a moment before turning and walking to his own room, gently reaching up to trace his lips with his hand. 

* * *

At roughly 10:30am, after trying not to eavesdrop on the chatter happening in the living room, Willie heard the front door open and close. He waited a few minutes before opening his door and walking out into the living room, sighing softly when he saw it was empty. 

Evidently, Alex had been listening as closely as Willie had been because not a few seconds later, the sound of feet making their way down the stairs could be heard. He turned and smiled when he saw Alex emerge from the stairwell cautiously. "They left a couple minutes ago."

Alex nodded, breathing out quietly and giving Willie a smile. "Awesome." He walked towards Willie and sat on the arm of the couch. 

Willie raised his eyebrow when Alex hooked his index finger through his gold chain and lightly tugged. Willie blinked down at the necklace. "You took your cross off."

Alex blinked and looked at Willie again before glancing down at the bare chain resting on his sternum. "Oh, right," he said, dropping his hand onto his lap. "I... it's just the two of us today. I didn't think I really needed to wear it." He hesitated. "Plus, I kind of got used to not wearing it. It was getting a little... heavy, if that makes sense."

Willie nodded and placed a hand on his elbow, squeezing lightly. "That makes total sense." He faltered before sliding his hand down Alex's forearm until their hands were touching. He covered the back of Alex's hand with his own and curled his thumb over until it was pressing against the middle of his palm lightly. 

Alex smiled and turned his hand until their palms were pressed together and their fingers were interlocked, sending a spark up Willie's arm. He sighed quietly and looked toward the corner of the living room where the ornately decorated Christmas tree was sitting, presents carefully placed underneath all perfectly wrapped. "Oh," he said quietly, looking back at Willie with raised eyebrows. "I just remembered something." 

"What was it?"

"I haven't figured out how I'm gonna repay you," Alex said, "for helping me out." 

"Alex, you don't have to repay me," Willie said, rolling his eyes playfully. "I offered."

"Yeah, but I... I feel bad, I guess," he replied quietly. "I know you offered, but you probably didn't expect all this when you agreed to be my... you know."

Willie raised his eyebrows. "What do you mean 'you feel bad'?"

Alex opened his mouth to respond, but Willie saw the way his eyes widened in shock before he could say anything else. He didn't understand _what_ had caused Alex to completely lose his train of thought like that until he heard the sound of quiet voices and keys jingling outside the front door. _Someone was home_. Before either of them had the sense to try and hide, the door opened, revealing a disgruntled-looking Estelle and sheepish Noah. 

"Noah, how many times have I told you to lay everything you need out the night before?" Estelle said, sighing heavily as she pushed the door open and removed her gloves. "You have _45 seconds_ to find your phone, mister! Your father is annoyed enough as it is."

"45 seconds is all I need!" Noah said before rushing up the stairs. 

Estelle closed the door and crossed her arms. She didn't seem to notice either Willie _or_ Alex until she turned towards the living room, jumping in shock and pressing her hand to her chest. "Oh!" she exclaimed, looking between Alex and Willie. "Good morning, boys."

"Morning, Mrs. Mercer," Willie said politely, giving her a smile that felt rigid around the edges. "Merry Christmas."

Estelle nodded, her perfectly red-lined lips forming a smile that looked like it _pained_ her. "Yes, Merry Christmas to you too, Willie," she replied quietly. "I didn't... I didn't know either of you were up yet."

Alex nodded, letting his hand slip out of Willie's grip. Willie frowned at the loss of contact but shoved his hand into his pocket instead. "We've been up since 7, actually," he said quietly, wiping his hands on his pants. 

"Right," Estelle said quietly. She looked flushed behind her pale foundation, fixing her scarf needlessly. "Any plans for this afternoon?" Willie narrowed his eyes slightly as he looked at her. She looked pristine and perfect, just like she had the first time he met her... but there was something about her that looked (and _felt)_ different. He wondered if the dark circles under her eyes were real or if he was just hallucinating.

"Yeah, we have some stuff planned," Alex replied with a shrug, crossing his arms over his chest. "I was gonna take Willie to Reggie's moms place."

"Oh! I see. I'm sure you boys will have fun, then." Estelle hesitated, fiddling with the collar on her coat. All three of them looked towards the stairs when the sound of Noah's heavy steps reverberated through the room. 

"Found it!" he called, waving his phone in the air. "It was between my bed and the wall." Noah turned to Willie and Alex and gave them both a friendly wave before pocketing his phone. "Hey guys! Are you coming with us?"

"No," Alex replied quickly, smiling tightly. "You go have fun." 

Noah raised his eyebrow. "Fun? At church? As if." 

" _Noah,"_ Estelle said, voice firm and full of warning. "Go get in the car." 

Noah raised his hands in surrender and gave Alex a small smile before rushing out the door, leaving it open behind him. A cold breeze entered the house, making Estelle shiver from the sudden chill. She didn't follow Noah out the door, though. Instead she stood there in the foyer, hands clasped and jaw tight. She looked _hesitant_ , almost like a child standing at their parent's doorway late at night, waiting to tell them about the bad dream they'd had. "Would you... would you and Willie perhaps like to... accompany us?" 

Willie's eyebrows shot up until they were practically brushing against his hairline. He couldn't help but notice the way Estelle was wringing her hands together nervously.

"What?" Alex's voice was soft, curling around the word like a blanket around a pair of cold shoulders.

Estelle softened, shoulders relaxing slightly. "Would you like to come to church with us?" she asked quietly, tightening her grip on her own hand. "We were planning on going to _Allora's_ afterwards for lunch. Remember that used to be your favourite?" 

Willie looked over at Alex who's eyes were wide, mouth slightly agape. His eyebrows were knitted together as he tried to process Estelle's words. Willie tentatively rested a hand in between Alex's shoulder blades, feeling the tense muscles relax into his touch. "I remember," he said finally. "B-But, um... Willie and I have plans." He hesitated, tugging on the end of his sleeves until they covered his knuckles. "Thanks though."

Estelle nodded. She didn't look particularly surprised at the rejection, but her shoulders slumped all the same. "Okay. We'll see you later then. Don't get into too much trouble." She turned and walked to the door, bracing her hand on the edge of it. Willie saw her press her lips together before turning to look at Alex one more time. "I lo--"

The sound of someone (Alex's father, no doubt) wailing down on a car horn interrupted Estelle before she could finish her sentence. She startled, eyes widening and back returning to that stiff, straight, _perfect_ position. She cleared her throat and smoothed down her collar, giving them both a polite nod before walking out the door and closing the door tightly behind her.

The air in the room felt significantly _different_ once the door closed behind Estelle, the cold winter air leaving behind a wind of change. Willie finally looked away from the door after a few seconds that seemed to stretch into minutes, glancing at Alex who was paying him no mind. His eyes were still firmly set on the closed living room door, eyebrows knitted together and fingers gripping his knee so hard that his knuckles were turning a pallid shade of white.

"Alex?" Willie said softly, trying to make him meet his gaze. When he finally did, Willie offered him a small smile. "Are you okay?"

Alex nodded, blinking rapidly and giving him a smile of his own. It was small and didn't quite reach his eyes, but it was a genuine smile nonetheless. "Yeah," he replied. He didn't elaborate; Willie didn't really feel like he needed to anyway. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Okay." Part of him wanted to pry, wanted to know exactly what Alex was feeling, but another part of him was okay with not knowing. Everything he wanted to know, he could see clear as day on Alex's face. He checked his watch and tilted his head. "It's still a little early, but if you're hungry... maybe we could head to your friend's moms cafe now?"

Alex nodded again, that same dazed look still on his face. He ran his fingers through his hair and refocused his eyes, actually _looking_ at Willie for the first time since Estelle had shut the door. "Yeah. Okay, sure. Reggie's mom will probably want us to stay there for a while anyway." He cleared his throat and stood up, pushing his sleeves up to his elbows and walking to the mantle to grab his car keys. "I think you'll like the place. It's super cozy and Eliza - Reggie's mom - is _really_ cool."

"I look forward to meeting her." Before the two of them left the house, Willie stopped Alex, grabbing his wrist gently and holding him back. When Alex turned to look at him inquisitively, Willie squeezed his wrist, stroking his thumb quickly against the soft skin on the inside of his forearm. "Alex, are you sure you're okay?"

Alex softened, stepping into Willie's personal space until the tips of their shoes were touching. He brushed Willie's hair behind his ear and pressed a kiss to his cheekbone. "I'm okay," he repeated. "Surprised, but... okay." Their quiet moment was interrupted by the comically loud sound of one of their stomachs growling - who's exactly, Willie couldn't be sure. The both of them dissolved into giggles. Alex loosened himself from Willie's grip and moved until they were holding hands instead. "Let's go."

* * *

The drive didn't take very long - at least that's what it felt like to Willie. He'd been too busy listening to Alex sing along to the radio, giggling as he tried to keep up. When he looked out the window of Alex's car, they were in front of a cute looking restaurant with wide, floor to ceiling windows. The worn, wooden sign outfront read _'Bubbe Dalia's Kitchen'_ in curvy script. It looked homey, like the storefront was smiling at him somehow.

"Dalia's?" Willie asked, turning to Alex as he stared out his window at his rearview mirror, tongue poking out of his mouth while he tried his best to parallel park. "I thought you said Reggie's mom was named Eliza."

Alex didn't respond for a moment, waiting until the car was fully parked before he gave Willie his attention. "Dalia was Reggie's grandma's name," he explained, taking his keys out of the ignition. "When she passed away, Eliza took over the store sort of in her honour." He paused, looking out of Willie's window and smiling softly. "Reggie basically grew up here and, since _I_ grew up with Reggie, I did too, sort of."

They both got out of the car and walked into the restaurant, the sound of the 'welcome' bell jingling behind them. When they walked in, Willie breathed in the smell of freshly baked bread and coffee floating through the air, wafting around him like a warm hug. He looked around, a smile automatically forming on his lips as he took in the pale green walls mixed with exposed brick, pictures and paintings hung up all around. The tables and booths were strategically placed close together, but it didn't feel crowded at all - it felt cozy.

His eyes strayed toward a booth at the back near the counter where two people were standing, making coffee and assembling sandwiches. Willie could imagine a younger version of Alex sitting there, head bowed as he worked on his homework, surrounded by delicious smells and friends who loved him. He looked over at Alex then, his grin widening when he found him looking around the cafe with the same kind of joy on his face that Willie was feeling, only his joy felt softer, more nostalgic. 

"This place looks really nice," Willie said quietly, though _nice_ didn't feel like a good enough word for the way he was feeling. "I like it already."

Alex turned to Willie and grinned. "Yeah?" That smile alone would've made Willie tell Alex _anything_ he wanted to hear.

"Yeah! It looks..." he hesitated, looking for the right word. He looked amongst the restaurant patrons, a grin growing on his own face when he saw an abundance of happy faces. "It looks happy." 

"Alex!" 

Willie and Alex looked away from one another when they heard a woman calling out to them. She wasn't much taller than Willie himself, her arms outstretched and black curls tied into a high ponytail with a scrunchie. She was the kind of beautiful that you couldn't look away from easily, a bright aura emanating from her and almost pulling in attention. She had a tartan apron tied around her waist on top of loose fitting jeans that were cuffed at the ankle; but what Willie noticed most of all was her bright smile and warm eyes, smile lines prominent as she grinned. Looking at her was like looking at comfort personified. 

He watched as she pulled Alex into a tight hug, lifting herself onto her tiptoes so she could hook her chin over Alex's shoulder. Willie noticed the way Alex's eyes slipped shut almost immediately when she wrapped her arms around him, almost sinking into her touch and hugging her back just as tightly.

When they pulled away, she patted Alex's cheek lightly, her smile softening. "Ugh, you've gotten so tall," she said, pinching his cheek gently. "I didn't think I'd be seeing you this year after you boys up and left me here _on my own."_

Alex smiled guiltily, shooting Willie a quick look as he rubbed over the spot the woman had just pinched. "Sorry, Eliza," he said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "I wasn't exactly planning on coming home, but my parents--"

"--say no more." The woman -- Eliza -- rolled her eyes and dropped her hands, her gaze drifting away from Alex to glance at Willie. He waved at her awkwardly, suddenly feeling on the spot. "And who is this?" 

"I'm Willie," he replied, offering Eliza his hand to shake. "Alex's um..." he trailed off, glancing at Alex who's cheeks were beginning to flush bright pink. Eliza seemed to pick up on Willie's panic. 

"Let's get you a table, hm?" she interrupted, giving Willie a look that told him she already knew everything she needed to know. She pointed towards a booth near the back of the restaurant and smiled, gently pushing Willie towards it. When he began walking towards it, over the quiet chatter of restaurant-goers, he could hear Eliza say something to Alex in what he _guessed_ was supposed to be a hushed tone. "He's _cute_."

"I-I... he... _yeah_ , he is," Alex stammered softly. Willie fought back a grin and ducked his head as he weaved his way through the tables and made his way to the booth Eliza had picked out for them. 

He slid into the booth and sunk back into the soft material, smiling at the picture hanging on the wall right next to their table. It was a younger-looking Eliza holding a toddler on her hip, hair down and curling around her face as she and the little boy in the photo touched foreheads. "Is that you and your son?"

Eliza rested her hip against the table as Alex slid into the booth across from Willie. "Yep, that's me and my _neshama."_ She sighed wistfully and smiled down at Willie. "My son and his friends used to hang out here after school all the time. The place is awfully quiet without them."

Alex looked around the bustling tables and raised an eyebrow. "I don't think it could ever be _quiet_ in here, Eliza," he said, running a fingernail against the edge of the table. 

Eliza hummed, giving Alex a pointed look. "Oh, you know what I mean." She pulled two laminated menus from the compartment under the table and placed them in front of either of them, tapping on the table. "I'll give you two a minute to decide what you want." Right before she walked off, she gave Alex a wink, making the blush darken on his cheeks. It was sufficiently adorable.

Willie looked down at the menu and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with choice. He knew it was ridiculous, but he didn't want to order the wrong thing. Then, almost as if he could read Willie's mind, Alex looked up - his blonde hair was flopping in front of his eyes and he was smiling shyly, hands clasped under the table. 

"Would you mind if I ordered for the both of us?" he asked, eyes bright. "You can say 'no', but I think I have something in mind you'll like." 

"Yes!" Willie said a little _too_ quickly. "I would love it if you ordered for me."

Alex nodded and sat up straight. "You're not allergic to anything, are you?"

Willie shook his head side-to-side as he considered Alex's question. "Bees," he said, voice deadpan. Alex raised his eyebrow.

"Well, I think we're in luck," Alex said incredulously, resting his forearms against the edge of the table, "I don't think any of the food has _bees_ in it."

Eliza returned then, brandishing a pen from behind her ear and a notepad. "Are we ready to order?" she asked. 

"I'll get the roasted turkey sandwich and a matzo ball soup," Alex said, sliding his laminated menu towards her before quickly glancing at Willie, "and Willie will have the egg salad with lox on challah and a cream of broccoli, please."

Eliza hummed as she scribbled down their orders before sliding the pad into the pocket of her apron. She gave Alex a mischievous smile before turning to Willie. "So, Willie, how did you two meet?"

Willie raised his eyebrows. "We actually ended up in the same english class," he said, thinking back to barely three months ago when he'd stumbled into his classroom five minutes late after getting hopelessly lost. It wasn't his fault that all the classrooms in the building looked _the same._ "I was late and the closest free seat was next to Alex so I took it. He spilled tea all over himself so I gave him a pack of mini tissues from my backpack." He didn't tell Eliza about how the moment he'd seen Alex, how he'd had to fight to keep his jaw off the floor; the way he wondered how anyone could look _so flawless_ at 9:30 in the morning when Willie himself had almost forgotten to put pants on that morning. "A couple weeks after that, we got paired up for a group project, which I was _really_ stoked about."

"You were?" _Oh, had he said that part out loud?_ Alex's eyes were wide as he stared at Willie, fingers fiddling with the friendship bracelet wound tightly around his wrist. 

"I... yeah," Willie replied, laughing bashfully. "I thought you could tell based off how overly enthusiastic I was to start working on our project like... three weeks before it was due."

Alex sucked his lips into his mouth to try and hide how wide his smile was growing, but Willie could still see hints of it. "I just thought you were being a good student," he said, wrapping his arm around his wrist and rubbing the inside of his arm with his thumb. "I mean... I was pretty stoked about getting paired up with you, too."

Eliza smirked at the two of them, placing an arm around Alex's shoulder and squeezing lightly. "You were lucky you got paired up with my little _kemfer_ ," she said. "He was always helping Reggie and the others with their schoolwork and writing songs and poems in his notebooks." She looked at Willie and smirked, a glint in her eye. "He's pretty easy on the eyes too, hm?"

Alex huffed. "Eliza--"

"--um... yeah," Willie replied. He could tell he was blushing but he didn't care. "Definitely." He looked at Alex who was staring right back at him, eyes dark and face light pink. There was something in his gaze that made Willie feel vaguely lightheaded. 

"Well!" Eliza said, straightening back up and tightening her ponytail. "I'll go put your orders in. I'm sure you don't want an old lady like me hanging around you two on your _date_." With that, she flitted away - but Willie and Alex both barely noticed. 

"About that day we got paired together," Willie said quietly, placing his hands on the table and twisting his thumb ring, "can I tell you something?"

Alex nodded, knitting his eyebrows together. "Yeah, of course. Anything."

Willie smirked, taking his ring off his finger and slipping it onto a different one. He looked up at Alex through his lashes and sat forward in his seat. "I kind of... I asked Dr. Martin to pair me up with you," he admitted. 

"You did?" Alex asked quietly. 

Willie nodded. "Mhm," he hummed, trying to subtly gauge Alex's reaction as his eyes scanned his face carefully. "We were _class_ -friends but not really _friends-_ friends yet, you know? I wanted an excuse to push us into that 'real' friend category. So I asked Dr. Martin if it would be okay if we worked together for our etymology project."

"How did you swing that?" Alex asked. His eyes were lit up in a delightful way that Willie couldn't look away from. "He's kind of a hard-ass."

Willie shrugged, slipping his ring back onto his thumb. "Everyone has a price."

Alex grinned, wide and silly - it matched the blush on his cheeks perfectly. "Willie, are you trying to tell me you _seduced_ Dr. Martin?"

"I did what I had to do." Willie paused for a moment, trying to keep a straight face until he just _couldn't_ anymore. He burst into a bout of giggles that inevitably set Alex off as well. Alex's laugh was one of Willie's favourite sounds in the world. 

Once they calmed down, Alex sighed and bit his lip before sliding his hand slowly across the table until his knuckles brushed up against Willie's. "I... I'm _really_ glad you asked Dr. Martin to be my partner," he said, his posture softening as he leaned forward. They were separated by the table, but in that moment Alex felt like he was barely inches away. 

"I'm glad he said yes," Willie countered, hooking his pinkie finger around Alex's.

The touch was light and small but _enough._

* * *

Their food came and was subsequently devoured at a speed achieved only by hungry college boys. Willie took the last bite of his sandwich and brushed the crumbs off his fingers, barely managing to suppress a moan as he sat back in his seat. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had food that satisfying before (truthfully, it probably hadn't been long... but his sandwich had been delightful). 

Alex was sitting in a similar position, back against the booth and hands clasped over his stomach, a serene smile on his face. "Good, right?" 

"I'll never be hungry again," Willie replied, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "That was the best sandwich I've ever had."

Eliza rounded the corner and appeared next to Willie holding two take-out containers and a plastic bag, laughing at their empty plates and full expressions. "Good?" 

Alex nodded, sitting up straight and placing his napkin on top of his empty plate. "Everything was awesome, as always," he said. "I don't think either of us will have to eat again for a _while_. Thanks, Eliza."

"Mhm. Well, in case you two get hungry a little bit later, I packed up some blintzes and a couple pieces of rugelach for you to take with you," she said, placing the boxes and bag on the table. "There's some plastic forks and knives in the bag too, just in case you're not going home straight away and you get hungry." She looked at Willie as she began gently placing the boxes inside the bag. "Where are you two off to now?"

Willie shrugged, glancing at Alex with an inquisitive smile. Alex returned the smile before replying to Eliza. 

"I was gonna take Willie down to the pier," Alex said, pulling his wallet out of his back pocket. "Remember when the guys and I played there last summer?" 

"Oh, I remember! That was so much fun!" Eliza said, shooting Alex a sharp glare when she saw him pulling a few bills out of his wallet. "You put that away, Mr. Mercer, your money is no good here. Why don't you save your money for something else?" she asked, nodding her head towards Willie in a way so unsubtle that she might as well have outright _said_ whatever it was she was thinking. "What would Reggie say if he knew I made his best friend pay for food at my restaurant?"

Alex laughed sheepishly and put his wallet away. "I didn't want to assume."

Eliza rolled her eyes and cupped Alex's chin. " _Always_ assume with me, _Bubbeleh_." She released Alex's chin and gave him a little tap on the nose. Willie watched, smiling affectionately at the warm, thankful look Alex gave her. "Now get out of here. Go have fun on your date, I have people to feed." 

"Thank you for everything, Eliza," Willie said as he slid out of the booth. "It was _really_ awesome meeting you." 

Eliza smiled and gently patted Willie's cheek as well. "It was wonderful meeting you too, Willie." She paused and looked at Alex again who was distracting himself by tying the bunny ears of the bag into a tight, secure knot around the take out boxes. "You take good care of my Alex, okay?"

Willie raised his eyebrows but nodded immediately, suddenly overcome with the tenderness in her gaze. "Of course," he said softly. "I-I mean, I'll try my best."

Eliza nodded and gave Willie's cheek one last pat for good measure before stepping back. "Enjoy the rest of your day, boys," she said, placing her hands in her apron pockets. "And Alex, watch out for Reggie for me, will you? I know he can handle himself but--"

"--I know. I will," Alex said. "Don't worry about a thing."

The two of them left the cafe quietly, the plastic bag dangling between them from Alex's fingers as they made the short walk to the car. 

"I liked her," Willie said as he slid into the passenger's seat. "She reminds me of my own mom, kinda."

Alex grinned, placing the take out container on the centre console before fishing his keys out of his coat pocket. "Eliza's the best." He kept his eyes focused on the ignition as he started the car back up again. "She was always there for me whenever I needed her, which... kind of turned out to be _a lot_ when Reg and I were in high school." 

Willie rested his head back against the headrest and watched Alex carefully. "I'm glad you had her," he said softly, mind straying to Estelle's words from last night. _I thought he was doing it to spite me. I tried to pretend he wasn't... gay._ "She's really sweet."

Alex nodded, scraping his thumb against the soft leather of the steering wheel. "There isn't a day that goes by that I don't feel thankful that she was in my life," he said, shrugging with a soft smile that said much more than his words were. He looked at Willie then, eyes imploring. "I'm glad you liked her."

"I _really_ did," he replied, fiddling with a loose thread dangling off one of the rips in his jeans. 

Alex started the car and they started driving. Alex's eyes remained firmly on the road as Willie sifted through the CDs Alex kept in the glove compartment of his car. He grinned when he stumbled over a familiar one and snapped open the case, inserting the disc into the slot and waited as a familiar track started playing. 

Alex raised his eyebrows slowly, an exasperated smile taking over his face as the car rumbled to a stop behind a red light. " _Really?"_ He asked, lips pursed in faux-annoyance. 

"Hey, can you blame me?" Willie asked, smiling cheekily. "You've turned me into Sunset Curve's biggest fan."

Alex laughed brightly, shaking his head as he drummed out the beat of the song on the steering wheel. "I think I could probably get you a free ticket to one of their future gigs," he said lightly, eyebrows waisted and cheeks rounded from smiling. 

Willie gasped over-exaggeratedly, holding back a giggle of his own as he pressed his hand to his chest. "Really?" he asked, turning slightly in his seat to face Alex fully. "How?"

Alex glanced at Willie briefly before the red light turned green. He started driving again, but the amused grin on his face persisted. "I have connections," he said with a shrug. "I could probably score you some merch, too."

"Wow," Willie said, drawing out the vowel for a second too long and fluttering his eyelashes even though Alex wasn't looking. "I didn't know I was dating someone so high profile."

A pause. The only sound in the car was the sound of Bobby's rhythmic strumming and Luke's vocals ringing out through the speakers. 

_Dating._

Was that the right word to describe what they were? What they were _doing?_ They'd kissed last night, and now they were on a date, but they'd never labelled anything. Willie wasn't sure what scared him more: the lack of clarity about what they _were_ or the possibility of a concrete label. He supposed both options were scary for completely different reasons. 

"Yeah, well," Alex said quietly after a few seconds, eyes sparkling as the afternoon sun filtered into the window, "if you stick with me, you'll get there eventually." 

Somehow, Alex managed to quieten all the thoughts in his mind with a simple sentence and the soft lilt of his voice. Willie grinned. "I'll be holding you to that."

* * *

"...when I finally found her, she was hanging from the middle of the monkey bars for dear life," Willie said between giggles. "When I finally got her down, she cried for _ages._ She'd been gripping onto the bar so tightly that she ended up getting lke 3 blisters on the insides of her palms."

Alex laughed, the sound vibrating pleasantly in Willie's ears as they sat at the side of the pier, their legs dangling a few feet above the water as the take-out boxes from _Dalia's_ sat between them. Willie took a piece of rugelach and tore it in half, popping one piece in his mouth and savouring the taste of cream cheese and cinnamon on his tongue. 

"Your sister sounds adorable," Alex said, brushing the cinnamon sugar off his hands and into the water below them. He hesitated, bracing his hands against the wooden planks underneath them before turning to Willie. "Do you miss your siblings a lot?"

Willie bit his lip, swinging his legs back and forth idly as he listened to the sound of crashing waves and seagulls squawking overhead. He sat back and propped his right leg up, leaving the other one dangling. He carefully rolled up the leg of his jeans, exposing the back of his calf where a crude line drawing of two stick figures was. One of the stick figures was slightly taller than the other one with two lines coming out of his head, a large smile, and grinning eyes. The stick figure beside it was of a little girl, two triangles framing either side of her face like pigtails. The wobbly smile on her face was just as wide.

Willie brushed his thumb against it lightly, tracing the imprint the fabric of his jeans had left behind on his skin. "Right before I left Thunder Bay for Los Angeles, my youngest sister Rory drew me this picture and gave it to me as a going away present," he said softly. "As soon as I got off the plane, I was researching tattoo artists before I'd even gotten to Uncle Caleb's house. I keep the original safe in a folder on my bookshelf so it won't get ruined." He lowered his pant leg and smiled at Alex, though it felt bittersweet. "I have tons of keepsakes from my family sort of strewn around everywhere. They're kind of everything to me."

Alex was biting on his lower lip, nodding slowly along to the words Willie was saying. "That's really sweet," he said quietly, an unspeakable softness in his eyes that made Willie want to cup his cheek and never let go. Alex broke eye contact to run a finger along the inside of the take-out container, scraping up some of the ricotta filling from the blintzes onto his finger before licking it off. "Is that what you meant when you said you had tattoos in awkward places?"

Willie smirked, wiggling his eyebrows. "In terms of placement, that might be my most tame one, actually," he said with a grin. "My first ever tattoo was a shitty stick-and-poke I got on my butt."

Alex choked, covering his mouth with his hand as he coughed. His surprise only made Willie giggle as he patted Alex's back in an attempt to soothe his cough. "Y-you... on your..." he cleared his throat and looked down at their feet before refocusing on Willie's face. His cheeks were pink - though Willie was beginning to get used to the sight. "I... what is it? If you don't mind me asking."

"A peach emoji." 

The two of them fell silent before bursting into a round of laughter. Well, Alex was definitely laughing. Willie was mostly staring at Alex, trying to memorise the way he looked while he laughed; the sun shining down on his floppy blonde hair, eyes crinkling pleasantly in the corners.

"That's... definitely a conversation starter." Alex lifted both his legs off the side of the pier and turned to face Willie fully, crossing his legs. "What other ones do you have?"

Willie raised his eyebrows before mimicking Alex's posture, placing his half eaten piece of rugelach back in the box. "The second tattoo I got was a cluster of sunflowers on my left shoulder-blade. They're my mom's favourite. When I showed it to her,she cried because I'd 'marred my beautiful skin,' and _then_ she cried because I'd gotten them for her."

"How many do you have total?" Alex asked, poking at the last blintz with his fork and silently offering it to Willie. 

Willie shook his head and watched as Alex ate the last piece and let out a quiet, satisfied hum. He would _definitely_ be saving that sound for later. "Six," he replied, playing with the end of his shoelaces. "But I still have a bunch more I'd love to get." 

"I'd love to get a tattoo someday," Alex said, resting his elbow against his knee and his chin in his palm. "I have no idea of _what_ and my parents would definitely kill me, but there's just something about getting something on your skin permanently that I really like. They're like little memories."

Willie smiled. "That's exactly what I think, too." He gazed at Alex for a moment before shrugging and pushing his sleeves up to his elbows. "If you were really interested in getting one, I know some great artists in LA." He bit his lip, fiddling with the clasp on one of his bracelets. "I could go with you."

"Yeah?" Alex asked, eyes lighting up. He sat up straight. "I've been seriously thinking about it for a while. What would you get?"

Willie hesitated before showing Alex his bare forearm, rubbing the inside of his wrist lightly with his index finger. "I was thinking maybe..." -- he looked up and locked eyes with Alex -- "a drum stick or something right here. That could be pretty cool."

He heard Alex's breath hitch as soon as the words left his mouth. "A drum stick, huh?" Alex repeated, reaching over and taking Willie's wrist. Willie fought back a shiver as Alex began lightly tracing the area Willie had indicated with his own finger. "Do you play or something?" 

_Two could play at this game, Mercer._

"No. I tried to learn but I had an _awful_ instructor," Willie replied, grinning cheekily when Alex looked at him blankly, one single eyebrow raised. "I know someone who plays, though."

"Do you?" Alex asked. Willie tried not to focus too hard on the light ticklish sensation crawling up his forearm as Alex's gentle movements continued. 

"Yep," Willie said, cursing inwardly when his voice cracked. "He's blonde and a little taller than I am and he's got these... _gorgeous_ green eyes. _And_ he's in a band. Super cool." He bit his lip, wondering if he should continue. One look at Alex's eyes told him that he should. "Also, I... I really like him."

Despite the sound of crashing waves, all Willie could hear was silence. Silence that stretched on for what felt like days. The movements on his wrist stopped but Alex never let go. Willie clenched and unclenched his jaw as he tried to study the look on Alex's face. 

"Do you think he likes you back?" Alex asked after a while, the corner of his lip perking up. "He sounds like a catch." 

Willie raised his eyebrows. "Well, I... he did _kiss_ me just last night." _How long were they going to play this game?_ "And on the floor of his childhood bedroom, no less."

"How scandalous." 

Before Willie could even think of a witty reply of his own, Alex surged forward and kissed him. Apparently he'd gotten tired of playing this game too. Willie cupped Alex's cheek with his hand, gently rubbing his cheekbone with his thumb as he savoured the taste of cinnamon, cream cheese, and the slightest hint of lemon. If he'd thought the blintzes had tasted good, they tasted better like this. 

Willie tried to shuffle closer but accidentally tipped the empty take-out container over. They pulled away from one another and Willie chuckled, pushing the boxes aside before shuffling closer to Alex until their knees were pressed against one another. Just as he was about to lean in for another kiss, he stopped himself short. He bit his lip and rested his forehead against Alex's. He could hear his heart pounding practically in his ears. 

"Alex," he murmured, moving his hand upward to play with the hair that had fallen just above Alex's ears. "What are we doing?"

Alex made a quiet, confused noise. "I... kissing. Or at least that's what we _were_ doing." 

Willie huffed out a chuckle but it was half hearted. He pulled away so he could properly look into Alex's eyes. "No, I mean... is this -- whatever _this_ is -- real to you?" he asked. He hoped the quiver in his voice wasn't as noticeable as it felt. "'Cause it's real to me." 

Alex gaze flickered between Willie's eyes before he sat up straight, taking Willie's hand off his cheek and squeezing his palm lightly. Then, he pressed Willie's hand to his own chest. Willie could feel Alex's heart beating rapidly underneath the fabric of his hoodie - it was almost beating out the same rhythm as his own. "Does this feel real to you?" he asked quietly, locking their fingers together. 

"Well," Willie replied, "it's certainly good to know that you're not hollow."

Alex rolled his eyes but pressed a kiss to Willie's knuckles. "Willie, this is... this is real for me. Ever since the day you sat next to me on the first day of class, it's been real for me," he explained. "I like you. Like really, _really_ like you." 

_Really,_ really _like you._

Willie could've launched himself into the sun out of pure elation alone. He didn't bother to hold back the grin that formed this time. "I really, _really_ like you too," he said, "in case that wasn't clear."

Alex grinned and dropped their hands from his chest, never letting go of Willie's hand all the while. They sat there in silence, enjoying the chilly winter air as it settled around them, listening to the distant sounds of children playing and yelling joyfully. It wasn't until a second later that Alex broke the silence.

"Willie?"

"Mhm?"

"Could we go back to kissing now?"

"Oh. Definitely."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BIG BIG BIG thank u to jess (hearjessroar) for letting me scream at her while writing this because i was WORRIED for some reason fdjkls you're the best and ilu 🥺 and another FUCKING HUGE THANK YOU TO ANIKA (diwata-nation) for coming up with reggie's mom eliza with me and for helping me figure out the details of her cafe and her in general!! i'm lub u <3 
> 
> EDIT: AH thank you also to ryn (thesunwillshineclearer/thesunwillart) for talking with me/reminding me about willie's tattoos and even helping me come up with the ideas for them!! 🥺🥺 she helped me come up with the idea for willie's butt tattoo so fdjskl THANK YOU RYN UR THE BESTEST
> 
> this chapter. oh my god was it difficult to write - i hope it wasn't difficult to read though :') i know this was a long one so i hope it wasn't tedious to read! i think i can see the natural end for the story in sight so i'm super excited to get to writing it! there will most likely be 2 - 3 chapters left of this fic, ah!! what a journey!! 
> 
> if ur still reading this, thank you <3 if you're so inclined, please feel free to drop a lil comment or tell me what u think on tumblr (@alexthedrummerboy)!! my inbox is always open!! 
> 
> \- Brit xx


	8. Chapter 8

They stayed at the pier for longer than either of them would like to admit; talking, laughing, _kissing_...

When Alex had pictured himself coming home for Christmas, he'd certainly never thought of _this_ being a possibility. He'd expected awkward conversations and stiff silences filled with resentment; he hadn't expected Willie to skate into his plans and fit in so perfectly.

Alex couldn't say he entirely minded being proven wrong. 

"Oh!" Alex said suddenly, turning to Willie with a soft grin. "I almost forgot. Close your eyes."

Willie raised an eyebrow but let his eyelids slip shut regardless. "Why...?"

"Just trust me." Alex unzipped his fanny pack and pulled out a hastily wrapped package, rubbing his thumb over the edge of the paper gently. "Open your eyes.

Willie did as he was told, looking between Alex's eager face and the package in his hands. A slow smile grew on his face. "I... is that for me?" he asked, voice gentle. 

"Yep," Alex said, handing Willie the present. "Remember when we got here and I told you I had to go to the bathroom?"

"Yeah," Willie said, turning the gift over in his hands and smoothing down the light blue wrapping paper. "You took so long I thought you fell in."

Alex rolled his eyes. "I didn't _actually_ go to the bathroom. I snuck off to the souvenir stall in the parking lot and bought you this."

He watched as Willie gently unwrapped the gift, taking care not to rip the paper. Underneath the wrapping paper was a pair of blue socks with tiny skateboards all over them. Alex bit his lip as he watched Willie's face carefully.

"Alex," Willie said, laughing breathlessly as he gently stroked the fabric of the socks."These are _perfect."_

"You really like them?"

Willie nodded, leaning in and pressing a light kiss to the corner of his lips. "I love them," he said. "Surprisingly, I don't already have a pair of skateboard socks." He paused, slumping his shoulders and frowning at Alex. "I didn't get you anything."

"You kind of did," Alex replied, smiling at the adorable pout on Willie's face. "You helped me when I was in a bind. I think if I had to come back here on my own, I might've lost my mind. Plus, I... I don't need a gift."

Willie cupped the side of Alex's face and kissed him properly, stroking his cheekbone with his thumb. He pulled away after a beat but kept their faces close. "Thank you," he said. "These are awesome."

Alex grinned, trying to stop his head from spinning at the touch of Willie's lips. "I'm glad you like them," he replied, wiping his sweat palms ( _when had they started sweating?)_ on his thighs. "We should get going soon. It's almost 5."

When they finally left the pier, the sun was just barely beginning to set, casting a gentle, warm glow over the water. They both stood up and Alex took hold of the empty take out containers, grabbing Willie's hand with his free one. 

"So," Alex said, swinging their hands back and forth, "when we get back to L.A..."

"Yeah?" Willie asked, rubbing Alex's knuckles. Alex grinned at the sensation. 

"Can I introduce you to my friends as my _boyfriend_ _?"_ Alex held his breath as he waited for Willie's answer. 

Willie hummed. "Only if I get to introduce you to my uncle Caleb."

Alex paled. "Meeting my friends is _not_ the same as meeting your uncle."

"Why?" Willie asked. "You told me your bandmates were basically your family, right?"

Alex nibbled on his lower lip. "Yeah, they are, but..." he paused, throwing the empty containers into a nearby trash can, "it doesn't feel different to you? Introducing me to your uncle versus you meeting my friends?"

Willie raised his eyebrows. He stopped walking and pulled Alex back by his hand, grinning impishly. "Are you _scared_ to meet my uncle?"

Sometimes Alex wished he weren't so predictable. "I mean... kinda," he replied, rubbing the back of his neck. "I know he means a lot to you. What if he doesn't like me?"

Willie pulled Alex closer and brushed the tips of their noses together. "He'll like you because I like you, okay?" He pressed a reassuring kiss to Alex's nose. "What would you say if I told you I was scared to meet your friends?"

Alex sighed but smiled, feeling his heart start to slow it's rapid pace. "I'd probably say the same thing to you."

"Exactly." Willie kissed Alex once more -- on the lips this time. "Now, let's go back to yours. I can't wait to hear more disparaging comments from your Dad!"

Alex laughed, shaking his head. "If you wanted me to insult you, all you had to do was ask!"

* * *

The moment Alex and Willie walked into the Mercer household, Alex could tell something was wrong. 

It was just after 5pm. Dinner was scheduled for 7 and yet... the living room and kitchen were both empty. Usually at this time, Estelle would be running around the house like an olympian; checking on the turkey, making the stuffing, and making sure that Noah hadn't stained his nice sweater. 

But when the two of them stepped through the door, there was nothing. Just eerie silence.

"I am sick and tired of having this conversation, Estelle!" 

Okay, so maybe not silence.

At the sound of his father's obviously aggravated voice, Alex's eyes widened. He felt Willie's grip on his hand tighten. The yelling was coming from upstairs. 

"Are you okay?" Willie asked quietly. Alex could feel his eyes on him, gently burning into the side of his face. 

Alex nodded, though he wasn't too sure. It had been a while since he'd heard his parents fight like this - they were normally the silent, passive aggressive type.

He tried to drown out the yelling as the both of them made their way up the stairs. The sounds of his parents' frustrated yells reverberated down the entire hallway, making Alex's ears ring. 

When he looked down the hall, Alex saw Noah's door was cracked open a few inches. He and Willie glanced at one another. They approached the door hand-in-hand. Alex could hear two voices softly muttering to one another. He knocked gently before pushing Noah's door open, furrowing his eyebrows at what he saw. 

Noah was sitting on his bed, hugging his knees to his chest. He was looking at Alex like a guilty puppy who'd just been caught ripping up the furniture. Harrison had on a similar expression, eyes wide. He was sat on the ground beside Noah's bed... only that wasn't the unusual part. 

No, the unusual thing was the fact that Harrison was sitting on top of an inflated air mattress.

"Hey guys," Alex said slowly, dropping Willie's hand. "What's going on?"

Harrison looked at Noah before looking back at Alex. "I... we didn't know you guys were gonna be back so soon." 

Alex shrugged. "We just went to _Dalia's_ then to the pier," he said. "We wanted to be home in time for dinner." He looked back at Willie who was staring down at the carpet, an unreadable expression on his face. He turned back to Harrison. "What's going on?" he repeated. 

Harrison bit his lip. "How about I drive the four of us down to _Gunther's_ for some ice cream?" he said, giving Alex a panicked smile. He'd seen that smile once before, when Harrison had accidentally broken Alex's record player while trying to impress a girl. "My treat!"

Alex felt the back of his knees begin to sweat despite the unpleasant, anxious chill that took over his body. "Harry, what's going on?" he asked, feeling all of 10-years-old again. 

"Harrison, we should just tell him." Noah sighed, rubbing a hand down his face. Alex couldn't help but notice just how _tired_ he looked. 

"Tell me what?" He could feel his frustration begin to rise. It took every ounce of maturity and willpower Alex had not to stomp his foot on the ground like an angry toddler. 

Harrison picked at his nails. "Okay," he mumbled. "You remember the Masons?"

Alex raised an eyebrow. "Sort of. Why?"

"They came up to us right before we were leaving church to get lunch and they asked about you," Noah said quietly. "Apparently Dad has been talking to Mr. Mason about you... about how you'd be a really good fit for his, um... daughter."

Suddenly, it felt like all the blood had left Alex's body. His fingers began to shake. He could just barely register the feeling of Willie taking his hand again and squeezing it lightly. "He's been... _what?"_

"That's not it," Harrison said, managing a small smile. "When Mr. Mason asked about you and introduced us to his daughter, Mom swooped in and said you wouldn't be interested 'cause you were happy with your _boyfriend."_ His smile faltered. "Dad wasn't too happy about that."

Alex felt Willie's grip on his hand tighten and he squeezed right back. "She... but... why would she do that?"

"I guess she finally pulled her head out of her ass," Noah said, undoing the buttons on his cuffs. "It's about time too."

"She's never stood up for me before," Alex said. He vaguely wondered when it had gotten so hard to breathe. "Why now?"

Noah and Harrison exchanged a look that did nothing to calm Alex's nerves. 

"We might as well tell him," Harrison said softly. "We've come this far." He turned to Alex, expression somber. "Mom and Dad are getting a divorce."

All the air left Alex's lungs. His knees would've given out had he not been leaning against the doorway. "What?"

Noah nodded. "Mom told me a month after you left," he said quietly. "She was driving me home from academic decathlon and she just started... crying." He shifted uncomfortably, rubbing the back of his neck. "It was kinda weird. I felt really bad for her."

Alex shook his head in disbelief. "A month after I... that was like _six months ago_ _."_ He turned to Harrison. "They told you too?"

Harrison nodded guiltily. "Mom and Dad called me around October," he replied, struggling to meet Alex's gaze. "They told me it was amicable but..." he paused, letting the muffled sound of continuous yelling settle back in, "... I guess that wasn't entirely true."

"You both knew?" Alex could feel a dangerously familiar heat building up behind his eyes. "And neither of you thought to maybe fill me in?"

"It wasn't our secret to tell, Alex," Noah said, hands clenching and unclenching anxiously. 

"But... but this is my _family!_ Did you just just forget that?" Alex could feel the vein in his temple begin to pulse the angrier he got. "Is this why they wanted me to come home for Christmas so bad? So they could tell me?"

Harrison and Noah both nodded bleakly.

"Alex..."

Willie's voice was soft, cutting through Alex's anger. He turned to face Willie. The gentle furrow in his brows and the frown on his face only filled him with more dread. "Willie?'

Willie dropped Alex's hand and tugged at his bracelets, nervously running his thumb across the beads. "Last night, I ran into your mom in the kitchen and we talked for a bit," he bega, "I noticed she wasn't wearing her wedding ring. When I got back to the guest room, I saw a wedding ring on the nightstand."

Alex shook his head, nails digging into the palms of his hands. "Wh... I don't understand," he said quietly, though the thought he was beginning to. "Why would her wedding ring be..." he trailed off -- suddenly it hurt to speak.

"She's been sleeping in the guest room for a while," Noah said, voice barely above a whisper. "When you told her you were bringing Willie, she cleared her stuff out." He looked down at the inflatable mattress on the floor. "She slept in here last night."

Alex looked at Willie, all the energy slumping out of his shoulders. "So you knew too." It was more of a statement than a question, but when Willie nodded sadly, Alex felt his heart sink to his stomach.

He _hated_ this feeling - the feeling of being the last one to know something; of being left behind.

He ran shaky fingers through his hair. His brain was practically buzzing with the hoards of new information he'd just learned. He didn't exactly know what he was feeling, but he knew he was overwhelmed and... _angry._

Everyone seemed to know what was going on in his own family except for him. If he hadn't felt like a member of the family before, he certainly didn't now.

"I-I... I can't believe you all kept this from me, I thought..." he shook his head. "I can't handle this right now," he muttered, turning on his heel and walking out into the hallway. 

Apparently though, Alex had impeccable timing. As soon as he entered the hall, he heard the sound of his father's booming voice - a sound that made all of his hairs stand on end. 

"I thought once he left, all our issues would be solved," Alex heard his dad say, along with what sounded like slamming drawers. "Instead, you've chosen his side? Over your own _husband?!"_

"He's my son, Christopher," Estelle replied. "How can you expect me to cast him aside like... like he's nothing?"

Alex swallowed thickly, clenching his jaw. Part of him wanted to cover his ears and curl into a ball, pretend he was a little kid again - he wasn't supposed to be hearing this. 

"Estelle--"

"No, Christopher, I..." Alex heard his mother pause, then inhale shallowly. He unconsciously did the same. "I've let you control what I think for far too long. If even the thought of changing is too much for you, then there's no place for you here."

Alex could feel his entire body go numb as soon as his mother's words entered his ears. 

He'd spent 18 years of his life thinking he was out of place at home... he didn't realise how overwhelming it would be to hear his own thoughts aimed at the person predominantly responsible for making him feel that way.

The realization that he should _probably_ get out of the hallway before either of his parents saw him came about half a second too late. His parents' bedroom door opened abruptly, causing him to stumble backward in surprise. 

Standing at the doorway, duffel bag in hand and eyes hard, was his father. His face was red from exertion and his wrinkles were only exacerbated by his obvious anger. He held eye contact with Alex for what felt like hours. If looks could kill... Alex wasn't sure he wanted to finish that sentence. 

Christopher walked out of the bedroom and slowly approached Alex. He could feel his anxiety shift and churn in his chest, changing into something sharper. Harsher. 

Just as Christopher went to step around him, Alex stepped directly into his path, not letting him pass. His hands were clenched into tight fists as he stared his father down. It almost felt like he was staring down the barrel of a loaded gun. 

"Really?" Alex asked. His voice was shaking but he didn't care; it didn't matter anyway. "Is your pride and your... your outdated _fucking_ values more important to you than your family?"

Christopher didn't respond. The corner of his lip curled upward. As soon as Alex started speaking it was like a dam had been broken, releasing all the thoughts Alex had been keeping sealed tightly in his chest for his entire life.

"I don't care that you refuse to even _try_ and make it seem like you give a shit about me, but... you're leaving Harrison and Noah because you can't be bothered to, what, re-evaluate your priorities?" Alex asked lowly. He could hear the sound of quiet footsteps shuffling behind him but he barely registered it. "Some father you're pretending to be." He tried his best to control his breathing, watching as his father's eyes narrowed. Still, despite everything, he couldn't find an ounce of regret in him. 

"I don't need to listen to his," Christopher muttered, switching his bag from one hand to the other. He looked behind Alex and side-stepped him. "Noah, Harrison, I'll call you two tomorrow."

Alex turned and saw Harrison, Noah, and Willie huddled in the doorway of Noah's bedroom.

"Don't bother," Harrison said. Alex could tell he was wildly uncomfortable at the thought of standing up to their father, but the sentiment made him feel ten tons lighter. 

Christopher raised his eyebrows before giving Alex one last steely look. He continued down the hall and stomped down the stairs without another word. The sound of the front door slamming shut shook the house. 

As soon as he was out of sight, Alex let out a deep breath that had been stuck in his chest since he and Willie had stepped into the house. His hands were shaking violently. Alex shoved them into the pockets of his hoodie, trying to calm his trembling.

"Alex?" Estelle's voice was light, gentle. Alex hadn't even noticed her enter the hallway. "Can I talk to you, sweetie? In the kitchen?" Alex hadn't heard her speak this gently to him since... well, he couldn't remember. 

He nodded, eyes scanning her face. She looked so different from that morning; her hair was hanging loose and disheveled around her shoulders as if she'd been running her fingers through it Her eyes were red-rimmed, too. Alex reeled. He'd never seen her like this before - soft... vulnerable, almost. 

Also she'd called him 'sweetie'. It had been years since she'd done that. 

He made his way down the stairs on shaky knees, entirely too aware of his mother following close behind. 

When the both of them reached the kitchen, Alex took a seat at the breakfast bar and clasped his hands awkward in front of him. Estelle sat beside him. Alex couldn't help but look at her bare hands that were twisted together in her lap. 

Neither of them spoke; not for a few seconds. The silence made Alex all the more nervous. 

"I'm sorry, Alex," Estelle said finally. The quiet words shocked him, entering his ears and coursing through his body like a shock of electricity.

"What for?" he asked, though he knew the answer. He just needed to hear her say it. 

Estelle looked at Alex, eyes slowly roving over his face, almost as if she were trying to memorize each freckle, each line, each eyelash. "I wasted so much time treating you like... like you weren't worth my love because you're gay."

Alex raised his eyebrows. He'd never heard her actually say the word before. "What, um" -- he cleared his throat, blinking rapidly -- "what made you change your mind?"

She shrugged, running a finger across the bed of her acrylic nail. "A few things," she said lightly. "Harrison showed me a video of you and your band playing at a show in some club down in Hollywood and you just looked so happy." Estelle paused, smiling wanly. "I don't remember the last time I saw you smile like that."

Alex made a mental note to thank Harrison later.

"But most of all, it was your phone call." That made Alex look up in surprise. "When you told me about Willie."

Hearing Willie's name coming out of his mother's mouth was extremely bizarre. "Yeah?"

"When you told me you were bringing home your boyfriend, I just saw... I saw your future flash in front of my eyes," Estelle replied, voice strained. 

Alex swallowed nervously, cheeks warm. "My... future?"

Estelle pursed her lips together tightly, rubbing the tanline around her ring finger. "I... you're so young," she said, "but I know you won't be forever. It's like one second you were 3-years-old, scraping your knees and holding hands with Isla O'Malley from Sunday school and then, I-I _blinked_... and suddenly you were 18 and moving across the state with no plans of coming back."

Alex shifted somewhat guiltily. "I... I would've visited," he mumbled, "... probably."

"I wouldn't have blamed you if you didn't," Estelle said. "I just realized I care more about you than I ever cared about a silly rule in a _book."_

"Y'know the bible doesn't even say anything about homosexuality," Alex said dryly, "not really. I looked it up in the tenth grade."

Estelle chuckled breathlessly, shaking her head. She sighed and turned toward Alex. "There was one more thing," she said, gaze shifting toward the stairs. "Willie."

"Willie?"

"When you mentioned him, I think I hoped you were joking or just trying to frustrate me," she said, "but when you two arrived, it became indisputable."

Alex blinked, thinking about just how different his life had been 48 hours ago. "You thought I was lying?" he asked, tugging at his bracelet nervously. 

Estelle shook her head. "I was skeptical, yes, but as soon as I saw the two of you together, I knew." She smiled softly. "I just saw the way the two of you looked at each other and I knew I was wrong."

Alex wasn't sure whether he wanted to laugh or cry at the sheer ridiculousness of this entire situation. "Right," he said glibly. "You saw us and, what, knew we were _meant to be_ or something?"

Estelle smiled, reaching out and gently tucking a strand of hair behind Alex's ear. "He just looked at you like... like being with you was the most important thing in the world."

"That's... I mean, that's a little dramatic," Alex said, though the only thing running through his head was Willie's bright smile and the soft look in his eye after they'd kissed. "We've only known each other for, like, three months."

Estelle hummed, shaking her head. "Time doesn't matter," she said. "From that first second, I could tell how much Willie cared about you."

Alex nodded, thinking back to just a few minutes ago; how _frustrated_ and angry he'd been that Willie had known about his parents before him. He felt guilt sink into his stomach when he thought about the wilted look on his face when he'd stormed out of Noah's room. "I care about him too," he said quietly; because he really, _really did._

The two of them were quiet for a moment before Alex felt his mother's warm hand envelope his own. He looked up and gave her a small, surprised smile. 

"I'm glad you have him," Estelle said gently.

Alex's breath hitched and he squeezed his mother's knuckles. "So am I."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "this is a work of fiction any resemblance to my actual life is purely coincidental" i say as i project my divorce trauma onto alex
> 
> i'm !!! actually really glad that this chapter didn't take as long to write as the previous one did! yay!!! 
> 
> the story is coming to an end 👀 next chapter we'll tie up all the little knots and then after that we'll have a cute lil epilogue! yay!! 
> 
> okay it's 4:30am so i'm going to go to bed but MUCH LOVE AH! i hope y'all enjoyed this chapter!! lmk what u think 🥺 also if u wanna follow me on tumblr i'm @alexthedrummerboy <3
> 
> goodnight everyone, MWAH  
> \- brit xx


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